Too many people settle for the bare minimum because they think that asking for more is going to make them look high maintenance or greedy. But if someone has a problem with your high standards, that means they aren’t interested in putting effort into the relationship. They would rather convince you to change your standards than rise to meet your standards because the latter requires too much work. And you don’t want to end up dating someone like that, someone who believes you should take what you can get without complaint, someone who prefers for you to suffer in silence than speak your problems aloud.
The right person for you will want to grow as a couple and an individual. They will want to make you happy in whatever way they can, even if it’s a little inconvenient sometimes. That’s what a relationship is all about – give and take. If the situation ends up one-sided, then you’re both missing out because one of you is getting taken advantage of and the other is missing out on the opportunity to grow.
Remember, texting you back is the bare minimum. They should be doing so much more than that – even when it comes to the phone. They should be the one initiating conversations with you. They should be coming up with conversation starters so you don’t have to keep the conversation flowing on your own. They should be checking in with you to make sure you’re doing okay when they haven’t heard from you in a while or when they know that you’ve been having a rough time. Don’t assume they’re the perfect person for you, simply because they acknowledge your existence. Answering your messages is great, especially when others have ignored and mistreated you in the past, but it’s only the beginning of what you should expect from your partners.
Showing you respect is the bare minimum. Listening when you speak is the bare minimum. Staying loyal is the bare minimum. Your person shouldn’t be getting credit over the smallest acts of kindness, the most basic relationship requirements. Even though the bare minimum is lightyears better than people who tear you down and disappoint you time and time again, you have to remind yourself that the bar is still on the floor – and you deserve so much more. You deserve someone who spoils you with affection, who surprises you with sweet gestures, who can’t wait to embark on their future with you but puts plenty of effort into their present with you.
You should hold out for someone who gives you so much more than the bare minimum because your standards don’t have to change for you to find love. You don’t have to settle because you assume it’s the only way a relationship is ever going to work out, because it feels impossible to meet anyone who goes above and beyond anymore. There is someone out there who will rise to your expectations, so keep your hopes high. Keep putting yourself out there.