Thank You For Being My Greatest Mirror—Now I See Myself Clearer

You were my greatest mirror. I’ve never felt such a commanding pull as I have with you. I thought it meant that maybe we were supposed to be together. My body hummed in your presence. I felt a sense of safety like never before. You see, when you shut yourself down for so long, you forget how it feels to have your heart dance in your chest.

I opened my rib cage for you. I opened my heart and bled for you. I let you do it all. I didn’t stop you from breaking me. I let you have it all. I didn’t stop you from taking me. I gave you my all, and clarity is what I received. 

I realize now that you weren’t supposed to be my forever person. You were supposed to bring light to my open wounds. You reminded me that I’m still healing. It’s not that we can’t love while healing, but I didn’t know if you were ready or willing to go through the trenches with me. And to be fair, I did not ask. 

I didn’t have any fight left in me to drag you through your darkness and mine. You consumed me. Your tenderness, misery, and passion mixed into a tornado of frenzy constantly consumed me.

You were supposed to be my greatest mirror. You helped me realize that though I break my own heart over and over again, I’ll still take a chance on love.

You helped me realize that I’m tired. I don’t want to be brave anymore. I don’t want to be constantly hiding behind a rugged exterior. I’m tired of running. I’m tired of doing it on my own. You made me think that maybe love can show up as whatever we want it to be. Maybe we could have honest conversations and embrace the dark sides of each other.

Thank you for tapping into my passion, for caressing my mind and body. Thank you for showing me where I’ve denied myself play and pleasure in life by putting everyone else first. 

I didn’t want to choose you. But we called each other. Maybe that’s why you caught me so off guard when you said you were in love with another.

Thank you for being my greatest mirror. Thank you for doing exactly what you were supposed to do. Thank you for not seeing me at all, though I was right in front of you. Thank you for making me realize that I always need to love myself first. Thank you for helping me see that I give too much without expectation. 

Thank you for shattering me apart. 

Thank you for helping me recognize that I can survive anything and am stronger than ever. You pushed me into my purpose. You helped me realize that I never want to disrespect myself in that way again. 

Thank you for being the final straw. 

Thank you for not showing up. Thank you for loving someone else who doesn’t love you back. It helped me realize that’s precisely what I do. We are the opposite, and yet same sides of each other.  Thank you for showing me what I don’t deserve in order to clarify what I do. 

Thank you for helping me realize the person I need to be chasing is myself. The person I need to be loving is myself. The person I need to be pleasing is myself. The person I need to be pouring my time into is myself. 

I already knew I was a survivor, but you leave me with no doubts. I can break through anything. There’s no goal I cannot achieve. I’ve harnessed all the energy from my time with you and transformed it into a purpose-filled life. I am the light bearer.

I will shine bright and brighter yet. I will rise high and rise higher yet. Thank you for being my greatest mirror.