Updated on

The 5 Steps For Getting Over A Past Relationship

Many people find themselves in a constant internal battle, thinking “what if” in regards to their past. What if I did things differently? Would my life be different now as a result? Perhaps it would be. But the truth is that we can’t change the past, so why bother thinking of it? So often, we get hung up on our past mistakes and regrets and forget the fact that we can create an even better reality now. Because when it’s all said and done, the most important thing to remember is that you deserve more. You deserve more and you are worthy of an even better relationship than you had prior, if you’re willing to see it as such. Here is how to start getting over a past relationship.

1. Make the conscious decision to let go.

It’s hard enough to heal, but trying to do so in a constant limbo, going back and forth on the matter, is not productive to heal your trauma. Things won’t go away by themselves, which is why it’s so important to initiate the healing process on your own terms. Accept the fact that you have a choice as to whether or not you let it go. Burn the pictures you need to burn, declutter your household of their items, or even have a drink with a loved one to celebrate this new chapter in your life… Just do what you need to do to begin the healing process and use your intention to let go as a stepping stone to bring you into a new reality.

2. Express your pain.

I can tell you firsthand that I’m someone that immediately wants to close off as soon as the going gets tough. I like to bottle up my emotions and keep my feelings inside so as not to burden anyone else. Unfortunately, when you keep everything to yourself, you only burden yourself in the end. Stop repressing your feelings and emotions and allow yourself to become aware and understand what you’re going through. Adopt new perspectives and ideologies about your life and begin utilizing your pain as motivation to create a better life moving forward.

3. Stop feeling guilty.

Instead, trust the universe’s plan that things were never meant to work out with that one person. There is a better path and plan in store for you that is more authentic, fulfilling and more aligned with who you really are. This break-up was merely a stepping stone for you to grow and expand into the best version of yourself, and even though it may not seem like it at the time, you will slowly heal the hole in your heart and find someone better who will make you feel more complete than you ever had before.

4. Forgive.

Not just the other person, but yourself as well. Resentment is like carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders when the other option is to forgive and feel light again. You need to forgive the other person for their past actions and understand that they were merely acting from the level of consciousness that they knew how to act from. Forgive yourself for who you were throughout the relationship and look to take your past mistakes as lessons moving forward.

5. Build yourself up.

Humans are hard-wired to feel comfortable when we’re content in our lives. When we are experiencing pain, our first initial impulse is to avoid this discomfort. Little do we realize, however, that the best way to move through pain is to work through it confidently and bravely. Become stronger as a result of learning how to push through this pain. Take on new skills and experiences that will force you to grow and transcend what you’re currently going through. And most of all, keep learning. When you look back at this moment in a few months or even a few years, you will be proud of who you are and who you became because of it. That I can assure you.