Until I embarked on this journey of deep awakening and becoming further aware of what was occurring in my life, I had absolutely no boundaries. My power would be given away and shared with others; I was constantly wanting them to approve of me or tell me what to do, as well as constantly giving into people-pleasing.
When I embarked on my journey of being a tarot reader and as I enhanced my abilities as an intuitive empath, I would take sessions then hurry myself to get the sessions done. This meant that while carrying my own 3D world problems and being engaged to an 8:30-5 job, I made myself wake up extremely early for sessions or do them after work. If I could not get sessions out as quickly as people wanted them, I would feel extremely guilty.
This led me to being drained among everything else I was experiencing. Looking back at this, although I enjoy helping people, I felt little joy in rushing things out on the timeline of others. I had little to no energy to take care of myself as I should. After I experienced a few mishaps with clients, my health, and my body, I finally came around to the fact that I needed to take care of myself. I also finally came around to understanding that this all works in divine timing. Not everyone understands this concept, but for divine timing to occur one’s health, energy, and insights need to all be aligned in the exact moment for the guidance to come through.
Finally, filling my own cup made sense. We can’t give completely from a half-full cup. We can only give from an overflowing cup. Giving from our overflow is the healthier way to lead.
How to recognize you need to set boundaries really isn’t that hard. Here are a few signs:
You are constantly drained.
You are rushing yourself for the sake of others.
You feel guilty, ashamed, and worthless if you cannot meet needs.
You cannot say “no,” even when you want to.
You put others before yourself; you’re the last on the list.
People easily walk all over you like a doormat.
While there are many more signs that indicate you need to set boundaries, the end result is you need to set them for your mental, emotional, and physical health.
Setting boundaries can look like:
Visualizing a line being drawn between you, a person, an object, or a situation, where you are on your side and they are on theirs. In this visualization, verbally express what you are “drawing the line” about.
Say “no” more when you want to. There will be some guilt with this at first, but you can clear it away.
Slowly begin putting yourself first. As uncomfortable this may be at the beginning, it will get easier. You can set an intention that you will carve out a specific time to spend with yourself.
Express yourself and your needs to others. No one will listen to or understand you unless you begin to do this for yourself.
Constantly clear your energy and call it back to yourself.
The most important aspect of the art of boundary setting is knowing that it is for your benefit. It is so that you can go about your day feeling better about everything you engage with. It is about feeling good and giving your energy that creative freedom in the process to be itself, rather than weighed down. Reiki is an amazing energy healing technique that can assist with this process. It assists the energetic body by clearing it out to be restored to its original state of calmness. Through my own practice of this technique, I have found that it helps both me and my clients feel more confident and secure in our relationships while establishing boundaries.
To this day, I can see that I have made major accomplishments with setting boundaries, especially on my social media. This led to me receiving many unfollows from those who could not understand them, but that price was worth it because my health is in a better place when I choose me first. I have come a long way, and there are moments when I do still feel guilty about not being able to deliver right away, but I know divine timing is always at play and I am able to work through these moments with ease and communication with my clients.