The most difficult part of moving on from a toxic relationship isn’t that you’ve lost faith in the idea of love or healthy partnership. No, the most difficult part of healing from a toxic relationship is that you do know that a loving relationship is possible. You just don’t think that it is something that will ever happen to you.
Because a toxic relationship shatters you and truly makes you believe you are only meant to exist on the outskirts of romance, watching from the sidelines as everyone else falls in love without you. You stand up in your best friends’ weddings, you toast to co-workers’ engagements, and you celebrate others’ growing families. And at each celebration, you feel your heart break a little more. Because even though you don’t think you’re worthy of love, you still want it so damn badly. But you’ll never say so out loud. After all, what could be sadder than someone craving something they not only will never have but don’t deserve in the first place? Not a lot you can think of.
The reason you don’t think you’re worthy of love is that you blame yourself for everything you went through with your ex. You remember the fights and the words slung in your direction with reckless abandon and no consideration for the consequences. You remember feeling drunk on the reconciliation, feeling high on the relief that they didn’t leave when you begged them for a 15th time to please stay. And you remember how much you broke when they finally did walk away.
If you want to move on from your toxic relationship, you need to remember that you are deserving of love. And it won’t be easy because toxic relationships break you down and tear you apart by design. But you can rebuild. You can learn to love yourself once more. You can find joy again. You can heal your heart. And you can let the memory of your toxic relationship fade away.
You need to understand that you did not deserve the hell your toxic relationship put you through. You didn’t, you didn’t, you didn’t. Please don’t let someone who couldn’t hold your heart with tenderness and care convince you that you aren’t worthy of love and belonging. If anything, they aren’t worthy of you.