The Life Lesson That Will Lead You To Your Soulmate, Based On Your Birth Month
It can be hard, watching an ex move on in a relationship that seems (from the outside looking in) healthier than the one you had with them, as if they were magically able to work through all of their issues the second the two of you broke up. But the truth is, we’re all flawed human beings who have to work on ourselves before we are ready to sign up for the long haul with a soulmate. To find out what personal growth lesson is standing between you and your soulmate, check out your birth month below…
JANUARY
The value of honesty
I’m not saying you purposely deceive your partners, but there’s a part of your that resists complete transparency, even when it comes to confronting your true feelings. You get more caught up in what you’re supposed to feel, who you could disappoint, and all of the expectations placed upon you that it distorts and obfuscates what you really want out of life, and your relationships. You have to figure out how to cut through all of that noise, and effectively communicate your truth to a partner in order to be ready for your soulmate.
FEBRUARY
Your true identity
It’s not like you are hiding your true self from the world, but you find yourself lost and confused in more ways than one. Everyone else seems to have their “thing”, the place they just “fit”, whereas you feel like you’re just aimlessly wandering through all of these spaces meant for other people. It’s impossible for you to find your soulmate, the person who is most compatible with you in the entire world, if you haven’t even scratched the surface of who you are. It’s terrifying, I know, especially when you suspect the answer is someone very different from the people around you, but you can’t escape the truth forever—not if you’re looking for true love.
MARCH
How to guard your peace
You haven’t learned how to say no to others, and that comes into direct conflict with your romantic relationships. No one has a chance to get close to you, because you’re just never available. You cancel plans to grant anyone, anywhere, favors at any time. Of course, you can’t prioritize someone you just met like they’re already your spouse, but you need to be able to be consistent, reliable, and emotionally available if you want to meet, and make it work, with your soulmate. You have to be willing to open up your schedule so someone has a fair shot at getting to know you, so they can pick you. Maybe what you’ve been avoiding all this time is the possibility of rejection.
APRIL
How to love yourself
You are never going to be able to truly receive someone else’s love unless you can give it to yourself. Let me repeat: You are never going to be able to truly receive someone else’s love unless you can give it to yourself. All of your self-doubt and criticism will seep into every healthy part of the relationship until there is nothing left. It’s a monster you have to tackle face on, because running from it will only delay the inevitable. But once you do conquer it? That’s when there will be room in your life for true love to finally enter.
MAY
The beauty of confidence
You need to spend more time with people in real life, and less time scrolling through your feed. What you perceive to be attractiveness is really the by-product of make-up, lighting, filters, and PhotoShop, but real charisma seeps through your pores, it can’t be captured digitally or electronically. It’s in the way someone holds eye contact with you long enough to make it clear you have their attention. It’s in a genuine smile, comfort in your own skin, a pair of jeans you’ve owned forever and feel at home in. Stop worrying about fitting in with the latest trends, your soulmate will see a lifetime written in your nose wrinkles. That’s all it takes.
JUNE
The power in choosing your words
We too often assume the right person will just “understand us”, as if we were crystal balls to be deciphered and translated into prophetic wisdom or omens. But the truth is, until you learn how to communicate, how to find the exact words that accurately convey how you feel, and the depth of those feelings, no one will be able to “intuit” them for you. Your soulmate is going to be the one person you want to be understood by more than anyone in the world, so you better be ready to do your part in that exchange of ideas and personal experiences we all communication before you expect to find them.
JULY
Staying true to yourself
The world always wants us to be someone other than who we truly are. It’s a battle none of us can completely avoid, no matter how in touch we are with our truest selves. But if you haven’t done that work, if you don’t know how to set those boundaries, you’ll only ever end up with partners who will try to change you. If you don’t know what your own limits are, can’t draw those lines in the sand, you’ll always find them getting crossed. In order to build that trust and respect, you have to be able to show your soulmate where it’s safe to tread.
AUGUST
Taking risks
If you’re too afraid of getting hurt, of opening up first, of asking someone for what you truly want, you’ll never find your soulmate. Because that person, and the kind of love you can find with them, will only come into your life when you’re ready to go all in and jump into the deep end without any water wings. You have to surrender yourself to the process of becoming vulnerable, of stripping yourself down to the studs, and letting someone choose you exactly as you are. It’s terrifying, but nothing in this world will ever surpass that feeling of belonging you’ll find when you do.
SEPTEMBER
Being self-sufficient
A partner is not your mother, your father, your teacher, or hired help. We all love being babied and catered too at times, but until you can really make it on your own, and take responsibility for your own life, you won’t find a true soulmate. Someone who respects and relies on you, and with whom you can do the same in return. A soulmate relationship is all about reciprocation and a deep responsibility to cherish each other, body and soul. If you can’t be responsible for yourself, you don’t deserve to be trusted with the responsibility of another person.
OCTOBER
Letting people be free to go
A soulmate isn’t someone who will never break up with you, and I don’t think we say that out loud enough. So much of our adolescence, and even our twenties is spent convincing ourselves that if we could just find someone, someone who will choose us and never leave, we could be happy. But the truth is, we need to choose ourselves, and give people the freedom to choose us in return, and that freedom also includes the opportunity to leave, whenever they choose. I’m not tearing down monogamy, I’m just saying you can’t ever assume a soulmate is obligated to stay with you. A long-term relationship is not an excuse to take someone for granted.
NOVEMBER
You don’t need to hide your pain
The thing about soulmates, is that they’re not the happy ending our fairy tales make them out to be. In reality, this is the person who will stand by you when you lose jobs, go to the hospital, and attend your parents’ funerals. They are going to see you at your best and your worst, and if you treat the entire relationship like it’s a party or a vacation, they’ll never truly get to know the real you. So until you learn to wear your negative emotions on your sleeve, you’ll never have that true soulmate connection, where your pain is honored and consoled in the most healing way you can imagine.
DECEMBER
How to care openly
If you are always pretending like things can’t hurt you, you’ll never find out what it feels like for someone to get close enough to change you from the inside out. To take away your loneliness, to understand the parts of you that have always been misunderstood, to look you in the eye, recognize all your flaws and fears, and stay exactly where they are, by your side. In order to find your soulmate, you need to learn how to bare your soul, and stop pretending like you don’t have one to begin with. You may regret the people you’ve let slip through your fingers because of it, but the right person will be too precious to sacrifice at the alter of your pride and ego.