The Problem With Listening To Your Heart Over Your Head

The Problem With Listening To Your Heart Over Your Head

The problem with listening to your heart over your head is that it can trap you in sticky situations. Even though you know you deserve more deep down, you have trouble pulling yourself away from relationships you’ve spent a lifetime building. You don’t want to desert the people who you’ve grown attached to over time. You don’t want to hurt their feelings by leaving them in the dust. You feel like you owe it to them to stay by their side, regardless of their attitude.  

Leaving isn’t even an option in your mind. You love them, so of course you’re going to stay with them. Of course you’re going to let their bad behavior slide. But despite what romance movies tell you, your love shouldn’t actually be unconditional. If someone is treating you poorly, then you’re allowed to rethink whether or not they deserve space in your universe. You’re allowed to ask yourself whether keeping them around is actually healthy for you. Even though it’s hard for you to separate love from like, it’s entirely possible to love someone who’s bad for you. You can love someone who you should never see again.

The problem with listening to your heart over your head is that your heart is biased. When you’ve known someone for a long time, the last thing you want to do is walk away. If you told a stranger your problems, they would be able to look at the situation logically, and they wouldn’t hesitate to tell you to walk away. But since you’re in the middle of the situation, you’re too close to see how others are harming you. You’re distracted by how much you care about them. Your first instinct is to defend this other person because you know they’re a good person. But being a good person doesn’t mean they’re good for you. Just like being good for you in the past doesn’t mean they’re good for you in the present.

Situations change. Relationships evolve – and devolve. It’s impossible to ignore your emotions completely, but don’t be so distracted by your heart that you forget to hear what your common sense is telling you.

The problem with listening to your heart over your head is that your heart usually wants what’s best in the moment. Meanwhile, your head is usually thinking more about the long-term. Right now, walking away from someone bad for you would be tough, so your heart doesn’t want to do it. You would rather pretend everything is fine today and deal with the problem another day. But your head knows that sometimes the hardest decisions are the best decisions. Sometimes, you’re going to be put through a lot of stress before you can come out happier on the other side.  

If you’ve been listening to your heart over your head, you don’t want to do a complete 180 and start listening to your head and ignoring your heart. Being logical isn’t better than being sentimental. It’s best to hear what your head and your heart both have to say. Listen to them both.