The Pros Of Short Hair And Long Hair, Demystified

Most women have had both short hair and long hair at different points in their lives. Female babies often start their hair journey by daydreaming about what their hair will look like one day when they’re older. What will the texture be? How thick will it be? How fast will it grow? Will I dye it? 

Many babies are born with little hair at all. A nice hair clip, a headband, or a little ponytail holder making a little whale spout can be great for some little baby girls’ self-esteem. Some people don’t have many memories as a baby and don’t remember having little hair at all.

Mommy sometimes makes hair decisions for us as small children. Maybe mommy doesn’t want much hair to wash in the tub. Maybe mommy wants something she feels is very feminine. Maybe she wants it to feel like she has a little doll.

By 18 years old, ladies have typically made their own hair decisions at some point or another. They have decided to go with the latest trend. They have decided to keep the same haircut their whole lives. They have maybe made some decisions they have felt were mistakes. 

One of the biggest mistakes women feel they have made about their hair throughout their lives is chopping it all off. Maybe they just felt really hot one day. Maybe they were crushing on a guy who likes short hair on a girl. Maybe they had a job interview and thought it would help them land it.

Cutting off your hair is never a total mistake, because all women all look beautiful no matter what. There are a lot of benefits to having short hair as well.

Short hair doesn’t get caught in your coat zipper. You can be mid-conversation with your roommate and in a rush to leave and simply tilt your head all the way down to locate your coat zipper and zip up with your head still all the way down. You can follow the zipper all the way up. It’s a little soothing. You didn’t have to adjust your hair at all. You didn’t have to worry about it getting stuck at all.

A short bob, a pixie, a mop top, or whatever you like to call a short ‘do, or whatever kind you have, is so often associated with maturity. Sure, there are short haircuts that are fauxhawks, but the radio host in And Just Like That has something much like that, and her professionalism seems like it will be inspiring to Carrie, or will at least make her feel submissive. The new power hairdo for some?

In the ‘90s and 2000s, magazines often called a short haircut a “career chop.” Sometimes magazines would show a model in every decade sporting a haircut that was shorter over time to show ever growing maturity and power of position. Short hair is often associated with professionalism.

Another pro to chopping off your hair is that it is also associated with devoted motherhood. Historically, mommies wanted to show humility and a lack of narcissism with short hair. They wanted to spend as much time being dutiful mothers as possible, and the shorter your hair is, the less time you seemingly spent on it.

If you didn’t like that you chopped off your hair, you might want to go back again soon and get another different cut. There are so many amazing short hairstyles. Sure it might be the same silhouette, but the more closely you pay attention to detail as a person, the more likely it is that you are mesmerized by the multitudinous nature of the infinite diversity of short hair styles.

Long hair, while so often trimmed all at the same length, can have a lot of benefits as well. Certainly there are a lot of ways to add layers and bangs and such. And the infiniteness here might be in styling, especially in the sense of updos. If you watch even one updo video on social media, you’re likely to get a lot more coming your way, and after a while, for people who like to pay attention closely, you’ll notice all the intricacies.

Moreover, long hair is great, because it makes you look like a stripper. It’s an assumption that everybody automatically makes. Job interviews could go better, because HR empathizes with your sex enslaved lifestyle, and maybe they would like to help you transition to a more stable job. Then, you walk around the office, blending in more every day, and everybody assumes that you are a former stripper.

Long hair is also great because everybody will think that you are a princess. They will see you as superficial and narcissistic, even if you spend as little time on your hair as somebody with short hair. Sometimes, if you have naturally pin straight hair, or if you’re not a perfectionist, you might spend less time on your hair than somebody with a short ‘do, because with the added weight, a little gel will smooth everything down, and partial air drying won’t be so socially unpresentable. But it took all of that extra shampoo. That was an extra 8 cents. And the extra time to shampoo it. Eight seconds.

Having long hair can feel very youthful at times, so another benefit to long hair can be that everybody will treat you like you have Peter Pan syndrome. Nothing you do or say will sound mature. Everything will be read as an airhead comment. Nobody will respect anything you have to say after seeing your zoomed-out profile picture on social media.

The final benefit to having long hair is that you can put it in a ponytail. It’s so easy to go to the gym and pull it all back. And so comfortable to have it all off your face. You can also make a bun to look like an ungraceful ballerina at the supermarket or you can also wear pigtails to make everybody throw up.