I used to describe myself as the chronic single friend, and if you’ve ever been where I was, you will know that role has its challenges. You are all too comfortable third wheeling, showing up alone, and playing therapist for your friends as they navigate the ups and downs of their string of pseudo-relationships. And although your independence shines more confidently than many of those around you, deep down your heart is starting to drop as you wonder if “the one” really does exist and if the only one thing keeping you from them… is you.
When everyone around you is in a constant flow of dating distractions, one night stands, sub par relationships, and second date after second date, it can start to feel like you are the one that is wrong.
You’ve done the waiting. You’ve done the work on yourself. What else needs to happen before your person just shows up?
For all of those who feel like they’ve been there, this is your three step “to-do list” to attract the love of your life once and for all.
1. Figure out what feeling you are searching for and give that feeling to yourself now.
Everything we aim to accomplish in life we desire because we want the feeling we think that thing will bring us. But manifestation and law of attraction state that we actually need to feel those feelings first… before we attract the thing we desire. Many times, when it comes to a relationship, the feelings we are seeking are those of love, wholeness, and worthiness. So ask yourself: How can I feel whole, loved, and worthy NOW? Once we obtain the feeling we desire, we become a match for the energy of love. This is when our true partner, not the one night stand or second date only person, is attracted back to us.
2. Gain a different kind of clarity.
We are told time and time again that we need to be specific about the manifestation that we are working towards. When it comes to love and relationships, the problem is that we are usually specific on the wrong things. We can pick out our partner’s hair color, height, and visual appearance, but we struggle when it comes to the most important qualities: How you want your future partner to treat you, their personality, how they are willing to work through challenging things, what they value, etc.
Ask yourself about these qualities and start to get specific on the soul behind the person you are ready to meet.
3. Ask yourself, “What would I do if I knew the person of my dreams existed?” (because they do).
Journal on this one for a bit. When I asked myself this question before meeting my now-fiancé, I realized that I would pray for him. I’ve always had a religious background, and when things felt out of my control, I’d pray. But when it came to relationships, I would always pray to meet my person. After asking myself the question above, I realized that I wouldn’t pray for him to appear, I would pray FOR him in the current moment. So, every night the prayer I decided to pray was that both of us would receive the challenges we needed to receive in order to make each other the people we needed to be when we first met. While praying, I allowed myself to truly believe that my partner already existed.
What these acts did was allow me to embody the version of myself in a healthy, passionate, and loving relationship, before I actually experienced it. And after several months of tuning into this embodiment, my forever person appeared without me even realizing it. And this work I did didn’t just allow me to start dating him, it allowed me to fully step into the relationship I’d been craving for years.
For all of my single friends that are slowly starting to lose hope, let this be your sign to hold on. You are on the right path. There are still things you can do. Don’t let go just yet.