Some people take up permanent residence in your heart. You may not think about them all the time, but when you do, their memories hit you like a ton of bricks. When things get tough, they’re your default safe haven. Their hearts were your first refuge and sanctuary.
Maybe it’s not fair to feel this way, but they were the ones who laid the groundwork for your heart. The truth is, there are some people you just can’t let go of. You learn to live without.
Your very first love
Your first love was perfect in your eyes. When you were together, you had no concept of heartbreak. You made plans. You daydreamed about escaping, having children, and living happily ever after. You were both young and naive. Nothing else mattered in the world as long as you had each other. As time passed, you quickly realized that you were in a love bubble. Life was more vicious than you’d both imagined.
Nevertheless, you and your partner had a passionate and easy relationship. Then you were torn apart by adulting, work, and life. It didn’t prepare you for the way others would abuse you, break your spirit and shatter your ideas about love. That’s why, no matter how much time passes, you never truly forget your first love. Your first love is wrapped up in your innocence. The memories remind you of a time when you were once carefree, without worry, and content.
It’s tough to let go of your parents, whether you’re estranged or they’ve passed. Your parents were your first caregivers. They represented your first example of how to love. You either loved without fear or shrunk to fit the expectations of others as modeled by them. They’re a part of your life in a complicated way, as their very DNA extends into your being. There’s always a part of you that wants their love and validation, no matter how old you are. You recognize this isn’t always possible. Instead, you learn to self-soothe and chart a new course in life.
Your closest friend
One of your first confidants was your closest friend. You became friends because you shared similar perspectives and had simple conversations. They were the ones who knew you the best and were a part of your daily life. When a friendship ends, it’s as if you’ve lost a piece of yourself. When your life takes unexpected turns, you can lose people. I know you’re hurting right now, but keep in mind that it’s natural to lose some people as you grow.
The truth is, there are some people you never let go of, you just learn to live without them. They still have a place in your heart. You learn how to think about them a little less over time. You realize that you must move forward with your life. Ruminating about your past might be a source of inspiration, but it keeps you stuck most times. They say time heals all. Sometimes it takes your whole life. But you take the next step. You find pockets of meaning in the little moments. Never lose sight of that.