The truth is, we’re not scared of meeting someone new or getting to know them; we’re not scared of love or the butterflies that come with it. We all want to be loved and we all long for that feeling but what keeps us guarded or scared or overthinking everything is not the fear of love, it’s the fear of pain. We’re not scared of loving again, we’re scared of being heartbroken again. We’re not scared of opening up and being vulnerable, we’re scared of exposing ourselves to the wrong person. We’re not scared of being loved, we’re scared of being broken. We’re not scared of being with someone new, we’re scared of wasting our time again.
We’re scared of telling someone how we feel only to hear that they don’t feel the same way. We’re scared of spending hours talking on the phone and texting someone our deepest secrets, revealing our insecurities and letting them see the sides of us that no one else sees, only for them to become strangers after a little while. We’re scared of the disappointment that comes after the excitement when we start feeling that they’re not on the same page or they’re not investing in us the way we want them to.
We’re scared of repeating the same mistakes and beating ourselves up over them. It’s like we didn’t learn our lesson because we trusted the wrong people again or we didn’t make the right choice. We’re scared of our own judgment failing us one more time. We’re scared of our emotions blinding us from seeing the red flags and the warning signs. We’re scared of giving our hearts again to those who might break them. This is what stops us from falling, this is what keeps us distant and guarded and silent. This is why we’re always one foot in and one foot out, ready to walk away any second. This is what keeps us from taking a chance or a risk that could be worth it. We’re not scared of the chance, we’re scared of the outcome.
So we play it safe for the most part because we’re just waiting for more, we’re waiting for people to reassure us or make more effort or prove to us that this is not going to be another failed relationship or another story that ends in heartbreak. We hold back and think too much before sending that text; we don’t really go deep and we keep our conversations shallow and short, because that way, we don’t have much to lose. We didn’t give much to begin with, we didn’t say anything that could be held against us or anything that would make us look weak. We don’t cross that line because we don’t know what’s waiting for us on the other side. We’re safe.
The truth is, we’re not scared of loving again, we’re scared of the excruciating pain that could potentially come out of it. We’re scared of the lows after the highs. We’re scared of the tears after the laughter. We’re scared of the awkwardness after the comfort. We’re scared of the silence after the noise. We’re scared of being alone again after getting used to having someone to share our lives with. So we protect ourselves and guard our hearts because that way, we don’t have to feel that kind of pain ever again. So we end the story before writing it, even if it means missing out on what could be our happily ever after.