When you feel unappreciated, you’re going to grow to resent your partner. You’re going to get frustrated with them for failing to meet your most basic expectations. You’re going to start asking yourself why you’ve been putting so much effort into this other person when they aren’t able to do the bare minimum for you. You’re going to feel like the relationship is one-sided, like you aren’t getting nearly as much as you’ve been offering in return. At first, you might be able to ignore how unappreciated you feel, but over time, you’re going to get more and more upset over it.
When you feel unappreciated, you feel unloved. You feel like your person must not care about you as much as you care about them. Otherwise, they would be going out of their way to do nice things for you. They would be thinking about you, even when you weren’t in the room. They would be making an effort, the same way that you have been since the first day you met.
When you feel unappreciated, you start to care less and less. After all, why should you be doing so many kind things for this person if they never even thank you? Why should you exhaust yourself trying to please them when nothing you do makes them happy? Why should you prioritize them over yourself when they aren’t willing to do the same for you?
It’s not that hard for your person to say thank you when you’ve gone out of your way to do something sweet for them. It’s not that hard for them to remind you how much they care and how thankful they are to have you in their world. It’s not that hard to pull off little surprises in order to make your day. It’s not that hard – and yet, they still aren’t doing it. So imagine how they’ll behave when times actually do get hard?
Don’t convince yourself that you’re overreacting or demanding too much from your partner because you aren’t actually asking for a lot. Your expectations aren’t unrealistic or unfair. All you want is to know that your partner respects your time and understands just how much you’ve been doing throughout the course of your relationship.
When you feel unappreciated, the relationship isn’t going to last. At least, it shouldn’t last. You shouldn’t feel like the person who is supposed to have your back is unable to see your worth. You shouldn’t feel neglected in your own relationship. You shouldn’t spend nights wondering whether your person realizes how much their indifference is hurting you.
Your partner should make you feel loved and appreciated. They should recognize your hard work and make sure you feel seen. If they aren’t thanking you or putting in an equal amount of effort as you, then maybe you’re in the wrong relationship. Maybe you should find someone who is willing to meet you in the middle. Someone who is excited to spoil you in the same way you spoil them.