These Are The 6 Best Pieces Of Advice I Ever Recieved In My Early 20s

Let me first say that I am only 21 and graduated from college barely a year ago. So, I have yet to experience most of my 20s and will go through a lot of changes in the coming years. However, as I have had a year to think about my future, I’ve read numerous books, listened to podcasts, and sought advice from more experienced people in my life about making the most of your 20s. Here are the 6 best pieces of advice I am happy to have received at the beginning of my 20s.

1. Feeling lost may as well be the journey itself.

Now, I am sure many of us look forward to finishing school and jump-starting the next stage of our lives. Maybe you already have everything planned out and are putting together a work wardrobe, deciding what apartment to rent and what car to buy. Perhaps you feel incredibly thrilled by the number of possibilities open to you, or maybe, just the opposite, you find yourself overwhelmed by the uncertainty of the future. We think that the faster we “find” ourselves and our purpose by ruling out the unfamiliar and the uncertain, the quicker we reach the opportunities awaiting us at the culmination of our self-discovery journey. 

The 20s is the time of our lives when we learn how to embrace the uncertainty, leave our comfort zone, and take the opportunities that we’d otherwise have overlooked.

And of course, not every risk we take will work out in our favor, but this gives us a chance to learn how to deal with circumstances outside of our control, remain open to possibilities, and make better decisions throughout our lives.

2. Invest in yourself

At the beginning of this year, I started reading a book called The Defining Decade, and one of the most important takeaways for me was this:  “Do something that’s an investment in who you might want to be next.”

I think it is important for so many people (including myself) to hear this, especially because our 20s can often feel like a period where we are forced to question everything we thought we wanted or valued. It can feel like our goals, career aspirations, relationships, and everyday concerns are pulling us in different directions. A piece of advice I’ve gotten repeatedly from those with more life experience is that being involved in different activities such as learning a new language, doing something creative, starting a side-project, volunteering, etc. in our 20s gives us a chance to step away from our problems and find a community people who share our passions. So whenever you find yourself prioritizing work and other commitments over your interests, remind yourself that the time and (sometimes) budget dedicated to these activities is an investment in yourself that will help to live a more fulfilled life in the years to come.

3. Adult friendships require work

We’ve grown up with so many ‘90s and early ‘00s TV shows telling us about the magical adult friendships where everyone has different goals and needs yet can maintain a tight bond and hit all the significant milestones together so effortlessly. Yet the studies show that adult friendships are getting harder to maintain with our increasingly busy lives, career and family responsibilities, etc., given that young adults today are more likely to change jobs or move further away from home. 

Adult friendships teach you to be more intentional with the time you spend with your friends and support each other through different stages of life. 

Unlike college, where our (mostly) shared goals and worries naturally pull us together, you may find yourself putting more effort into catching up with friends, let alone planning an activity together. But we have to understand that adult friendships in which people’s lives seem to be just so effortlessly intertwined are the exception, not the rule. In reality, maintaining tight bonds with your friends as you transition into adulthood might mean that you plan for a brunch several weeks in advance, schedule catch-up calls with friends in different time zones, and be willing to support your friends even if you are going through different stages of your lives. 

4. Not all friendships are supposed to last

Although you will find yourself putting more work into maintaining your friendships after college, keep in mind that transitioning into post-grad life may provide a natural opportunity to get away from friendships that no longer serve you and rebuild your friend circle. For example, you may realize that certain college friendships reinforce toxic, irresponsible, and self-destructive behaviors that have no place in the next stage of your life. But making changes to your friend circle doesn’t always have to be this dramatic, either. 

It can actually be very healthy to simply grow apart with college friends whose lifestyles are not compatible with yours. 

Social media can make it seem like you still are “in touch” with all of your college friends as you follow what’s going on in their lives. Don’t feel guilty about unfollowing those friends who make you feel self-conscious. Since we all have increasingly more responsibilities and less time, filtering your social circle will help you to prioritize and focus on nurturing the friendships you care about. Plus, surrounding yourself with friends whose goals, spending habits and lifestyles are similar to yours is a great way to keep one another on track to achieve those goals. I’m ending this paragraph with the wise words of a friend: “Your 20s is a time to Marie Kondo your life. Discard the friendships that don’t spark joy.”

5. Create healthy financial habits

One of the most valuable things you can do for your future self is make smart financial decisions from your early 20s. 

I am happy to have followed this advice early on, because the sooner we establish healthy financial habits such as budgeting, investing, and saving for retirement, the better we can set ourselves up for success. If you are not sure where to start, I would recommend one of my favorite personal finance YouTube channels, The Financial Diet. 

On the flip side of the coin, it’s essential to keep in mind that the path to financial independence is different for everyone and will depend on various factors, such as your socioeconomic class, how you financed your education, etc. Comparing how quickly you can achieve your financial goals to others may be misleading since we are often unaware of the set of financial privileges and drawbacks others may have.

Lastly, I want to mention that it’s equally important not to fall into a scarcity mindset and treat ourselves to things that make us happy while still making smart financial decisions.

6. It’s not a sprint but a marathon

Sometimes I feel like I’m on a hamster wheel, seeking constant self-improvement and looking for better career opportunities. It can be hard to slow down, be comfortable with where we are now, and celebrate our achievements when we regularly compare ourselves to peers or our LinkedIn network that we may not even know. But our 20s are not (should not be) just about social, financial, and career achievements. Thinking that we can shelve working on our emotional well-being until we are more successful and established in our lives can quickly lead to burnout.

If we don’t learn how to value and love ourselves and work on our personal issues, childhood traumas, and fears, it will become increasingly more challenging to achieve our goals in the other aspects of life. 

Starting therapy in our early 20s can be a great way to develop the tools necessary to deal with stressful situations and emotional challenges. If this is not affordable to you at the moment, practices like mindfulness and journaling and finding communities that can support you can also be helpful. All of us are working with our traumas and fears, and it’s not fair to ourselves to expect that all of these issues built over the years will be resolved overnight. Slowing doing and taking some time for our emotional and mental well-being right now only means that we are building up the stamina to strive for more in the future.