These Are The 9 Seduction Styles (And How You Know Which One You Are)
You’ve heard about love languages and attachment styles, but let’s talk about something that doesn’t have as much attention: seduction styles.
According to Robert Greene, the author of The Art of Seduction, there are 9 types of seducers: the Siren, the Rake, the Ideal Lover, the Dandy, the Natural, the Coquette, the Charmer, the Charismatic, and the Star. You may show signs of multiple types and the person you’re interested in might also have multiple types too — it all depends on your comfortability and your personality.
Let’s dive into the seduction styles and how to know which one you are:
The Siren
Femme fatale — she is the epitome of stereotypical femininity. She’s enticing, flirty, beautiful, intelligent, and sensual — the whole package. It’s often someone who will pair with a “masculine” figure — think Marilyn Monroe for JFK.
In some cultures and myths, a Siren is a mermaid whose beauty, mystery, and sensuality lured (fisher) men to their deaths.
The Rake
The opposite of the Siren, the Rake is the stereotypical “masculine” energy. It’s someone strong, rich, and hot, who brings pleasure and thrill. Oftentimes, they prefer physical intimacy over vulnerable conversations and fulfilling relationships. It’s a “casanova” or a “f*ck boy” (think Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl or Ryan Gosling’s character in Crazy Stupid Love) — they know how to get you to swoon, even if they might be toxic.
The Ideal Lover
No matter how they identify and no matter their sexual orientation — this is someone who brings hope back into our love lives.
When we’re young, we have this fantasy of finding someone and living happily ever after. But then we get older, get our hearts broken, lose some people along the way, and now look at the world with a coldness. The Ideal Lover brings that hope back and aims to bring things to fruition. They play the long game.
Think of Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic. Or the best friend in the romcom who won’t admit their feelings but will still be kind and supportive no matter what and until the main character realizes their feelings for them too.
The Dandy
The Dandy is free, ambiguous, and breaks prejudiced sexual behavioral roles. This is someone who is comfortable in their skin, with expressing themselves, their interests, and their sexuality.
This is Harry Styles. He wears lace, sequins, and a Gucci dress on the cover of Vogue, but you can also see him in an oversized hoodie, baggy jeans, and Adidas Gazelles (Satellite Stompers). He is comfortable with who he is and that makes him so much more seductive and enticing.
The Natural
There are some people we meet who bring a sense of calm and familiarity to our lives. “They feel like home,” some would say. This is the Natural.
These people are youthful, sincere, endearing, and fun. Think of Ryan Reynolds or Ted Lasso — they both emit an aura of youth, playfulness, and sincerity. These people make you forget the harshness of reality.
The Coquette
This is the tease.
These people are the masters of the bait-and-switch. They’ll charm you and sweep you off your feet and the moment you become invested, they dip. It’s enjoyable for them to be elusive and know that people are fawning after them. They dangle love and tenderness in and then take it away whenever they get too close. This person is enticing and frustrating all at the same time.
We all know someone in our lives who is like this. Or maybe it’s you who does this. Think of “Hot and Cold” by Katy Perry.
The Charmer
Ah, the charmer. Prince Charming, if you will.
Like casting a spell on someone, the charmer knows how to win your heart: they feed your ego and make you feel special. They put you at the center of their world and romance you. However, they like to keep things G-rated; there’s no sexual tension or pleasure. There is a certain holiness they emit but really, they’re a bit devilish. They are often narcissistic, defensive, and even avoidant.
To quote Taylor Swift (about Tom Hiddleston): “He looks up grinning like a devil.”
The Charismatic
This is the life of the party. The Charismatic is often someone who is the center of attention: someone fun, probably loud, animated, funny. There’s something so sincere about them, too.
Think of Robin Williams. He’s a good person to be around and people are often drawn to them because of their lighthearted energy.
The Star
This is often someone with a reputation, someone who — for whatever reason — people feel inferior around. There’s this aura to them that radiates a mix between Hollywood fame and fortune and exclusivity but also a little bit of down-to-earth goodness.
This person is often out of reach. It’s someone you want the attention of — nothing would make you happier than them acknowledging your existence. Think Beyonce, Rihanna, or even Troy Bolton from the High School Musical series — they are the Stars.
How do you know which seduction style is most like you? Ask yourself: Am I a tease? Am I fun and playful and enjoyable to be around? Am I the ideal lover?