These Are The Best And Worst Places To Wear Converse All Stars, Ranked

You can’t go wrong in Converse All Star shoes. Or can you? Converse All Stars, also known as “Chucks” and “Cons,” originally designed as a basketball shoe in the 1920s, have made a pop culture explosion over the past 100 years. Converse All Stars have been a cherished shoe in many scenes, popularized by such icons as Andy Warhol and Kurt Cobain and appearing in popular movies and TV shows such as Rocky, Animal House, Grease, Wayne’s World, and The Big Bang Theory. Converse All Stars have been mainstream at times, but are often a sign of rebellion. They are punk, goth, hipster, emo, geek, and more. There are always subculture connotations, like certain colors being more cool than others or rules like “You should always buy them used to not give money directly to Nike.” A lot of people think that these shoes are not only cool, but also very comfortable, which begs the question of how often they can be worn! Read on for an interpretation of the level of appropriateness for wearing Converse All Stars in particular situations.

Wedding.

Level of appropriateness: 2/10.

Weddings are often formal, so guys will be wearing shiny dad shoes. Women will be wearing inappropriately high heels, and yet, because everybody is doing it, it’s appropriate in a way. Basically, at a wedding, you really want to blend in and let the bride stand out because it is her special day. It would be so comfortable to dance in Chucks, so if you really get out there, people might understand. There are actually artists who turn white Cons into formal attire, decking them out with pearls, etc. However, another part of the wedding day appropriateness is brides blending in with other brides past, present, and future, so she wouldn’t want to make anybody feel jealous that she was so comfortable and fashionable! That would be inappropriate!

Class.

Level of appropriateness: 9/10.

Your teachers and professors will feel so comfortable with you in your Chucks! They probably wore them when they were your age as well. They love nostalgia, and they would love to see a classic design. Or would they prefer seeing a design that is a modern twist? They can’t decide! The only problem is that they personally might not have felt like they could have worn them to class when they were your age.

Meeting the in-laws.

Level of appropriateness: 5/10.

Surprisingly, wearing Cons to the in-laws is kind of a win. Maybe they would prefer to see you in a current fashion trend, because people their age love being in touch with youth culture. They are in touch with you, so they want to feel cool by association. However, the classic shoe taste means that you will always be cool, even when you’re not in the youth culture trend ages. 

Date.

Level of appropriateness: 8/10.

Whether it’s a first date or your hundredth, you can scarcely go wrong in Cons. In these flat sneakers, you are ready to go apple picking, walk up and down movie theater stairs, or frolic around a botanical garden. It makes a great first impression that you are down-to-earth, and it shows your fun side always. The only issue is that your date might want to know what makes you really unique, shoe-wise.

Job Interview.

Level of appropriateness: 0/10.

Cons were discontinued for the professional basketball court in 1979, so unless you’re applying to be a Converse All Stars historian, a job interview is not a time or place to wear them! Probably not even then. And that job doesn’t exist. Even if you are applying to be a camp counselor, a merch girl at a show, or a sneaker salesman at Foot Locker, Cons are just never appropriate for an interview. You could wear shoes as comfortable as Chucks on the inside, but on the outside, they should basically look uncomfortable.

Bar.

Level of appropriateness: 2/10.

Surprisingly, Converse All Stars don’t really go well with bars! Sure, they’re flat, so it’s easy to navigate through crowds with a drink in your hand. But bars can get pretty sloppy, and these shoes tend to stay wet when they get wet. And you don’t want to go to a bar that isn’t sloppy.

Concert.

Level of appropriateness: 7/10.

Cons are synonymous with so many music scenes, and yet for a concert, you might just find a better pair of shoes to wear. Cons are not a bad choice, because you can stand in them for a long time, but let’s face it, there are indeed more comfortable shoes to be worn. Concerts are also a great place to express yourself and be unique, so a pair of shoes that nobody has seen before might be fun for concert-goers and good for having your picture taken for BrooklynVegan. 

Hiking.

Level of appropriateness: 1/10.

Weirdly, there are actually less comfortable hiking shoes than Cons. Will your shoes bring hikers cheer? Could you take an easy path, like a reality show “hike,” that is literally almost a paved path through the woods? Will the flatness create a better hiking experience than shoes with a small heel? Hiking is all about keeping spirits bright!

The mall.

Level of appropriateness: 8/10.

There are few shoes more appropriate for a mall adventure than good ol’ Converse All Stars. Anybody you remember at the mall was probably a troll. So by blending in, it says that you’re just there for a good time. The only problem is that Cons have such a rich history of being anti-establishment that wearing them to a mall seems almost antithetical, and therefore could kind of kill the vibe of the shoes.

Therapy.

Level of appropriateness: 1/10.

Therapists are always saying to be “grounded” and to “feel the floor,” so what better way to do it than in my Chucks? Perhaps. However, people really go to therapy for the therapist to feel sorry for them and to tell them how to fix their problems. If you’re in such comfortable shoes, you’ll be so happy that it will seem like you don’t have any problems. Maybe in your Converse All Stars, you don’t!