Dmitriy Ganin

They’re Not Your Soulmate Unless They Do These 5 Things

Are they your true soulmate or a manipulator? Here’s five signs that will tell you whether you’ve really met a soulmate or an imposter.

Genuinely empathize with you and celebrate you long-term.

A true soulmate will stand by you and with you while also holding healthy boundaries. They will make you feel like you are capable of anything and celebrate your wins. They will be your biggest cheerleader, encouraging you to pursue your dreams with more ease and confidence. Your true soulmate will feel for you as if your struggles are their own; they will be nurturing, kind, compassionate. That is how much they care for you and love you. They will help you during dark times by comforting you and soothing you just as you would do for them.   If your “soulmate” lacks empathy, kicks you when you’re down, or is envious of you and tries to “humble” you while you support them, they’re not your soulmate – you’re in a toxic relationship.

Make an effort to learn about what makes you unique and what makes you happy – and use that information to support and encourage you throughout every stage of the relationship.

Your true soulmate will recognize what makes you stand out from the rest. To them, you are not interchangeable with anyone else. They connect with you on a deeper level and genuinely want to get to know you – not just because they want a relationship with just anyone but because they want a relationship with you specifically. They remember specific details about you that make you who you are because they truly “see” you. They make a long-term effort to understand you and learn what makes you happy – and they apply that information to support you beyond the “honeymoon” stage of the relationship. This is different from shallow short-term love bombing, flattery, and praise used for an agenda. They genuinely appreciate and honor your kindness, your bright spirit, your comedic genius, your intelligence, your inner and outer beauty – all of it. You’re never their placeholder or their “something for now” until something “better” comes along – to them, there is no one better – you are that special someone for them, and they make sure you know you are valued and cherished long-term.

Connects with your true authentic self.

Your connection to your soulmate is based on you both knowing each other’s authentic selves. There is no pretending between you two in terms of who you really are. Manipulators may pretend to connect with you for a short period but the mask falls off and toxic relationships are filled with deception. A true soulmate connection is rare and genuine. Your souls, minds, hearts, and personalities connect magnetically not because of manufactured “mirroring” or manipulation but because you two connect on similar interests, hobbies, goals, and life paths. You have personality traits that align well together. 

Shares your core values and has good character.

Your true soulmate will have the same core values as you and will likely work with you toward the greater good and your highest good and personal development. They will support you in your goals and dreams but they will also care about humanity at large. Their character will be one of integrity. If you’re with a partner who dehumanizes people, does not acknowledge injustice, stays silent in matters of inequality, is okay with oppressing the marginalized, encourages aggression or violence against the innocent or believes in cruelty or discrimination in any form, you are with the wrong person. The way they treat others will eventually come back to the way they treat you – and they may even treat you worse behind closed doors. 

Notices and values your irreplaceability.

Your true soulmate would never compare you to another because for them, no past or future partner could ever compare. They would never treat you as disposable or try to make you jealous on purpose. They go out of their way to make you feel special and secure because you really are special to them. They don’t “see” or feel for anyone else in the same way. A manipulator will provoke insecurity in you to make you feel less than so you don’t leave them; they will try to make you compete for them and prove yourself to them. With a true soulmate, you are irreplaceable to them because there is only one you – with all your quirks, talents, beauty, warmth, inside shared jokes, laughter, radiance and energy. You are the only one they think about and love in a special way. A true soulmate will make you feel cherished and chosen.