“The most common issue in any relationship is the communication barrier. Everyone experiences love differently and it’s easy to miss the mark when it comes to showing that you care.” — Chapman
How many times have you met someone who you felt understood you in a thorough way only to be let down that they did not do something for you in the way you would for them? That they did not show up for you in the same way that you have shown up for them?
How much pain and hardship have you endured simply because you or your friend lacked an understanding of the way that each of you wanted to be shown love?
You will come across people who you think are just like you, only to learn that their love language differs from yours. You may love receiving voicemails and sending random texts of encouragement to your loved ones, while your friend or partner may not express their love in that particular way.
Probably one of the most enigmatic lessons for me to accept is that each individual speaks a specific love language.
Just because someone does not express themselves in the same manner as you does not mean that you do not hold the same importance in their life.
Just because someone does not show they care in the same way that you do does not mean that they do not care for you.
When I learned about the different love languages, the gaps that were constantly arising in my mind as to why it was so difficult to find others who loved like me were finally filled.
According to the bestselling author of The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, they are known as: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. Each individual resonates with one of these types of communication methods and ways of showing that they care.
In order to have successful friendships and relationships, you have to first know your own love language. What is it that makes you happiest? What makes your heart feel warm when you think of being shown love in an ideal way?
In order to be content in your friendships you should learn and become familiar with this communication preference of yours. This way you can easily talk to your friends and partner about what it is that makes you feel the most loved.
Communication is the key to being able to navigate different love languages and properly utilize them in your relationships.
So, go learn about yourself. And once you do that, encourage those you love around you to do the same. If they are open to allowing your relationship to deepen, communicate what it is that makes you feel loved. Ask them what makes them feel loved—and then act accordingly.
Being aware of your own love language and making others around you aware as well will transform the depth of your relationships. Discussing your love languages changes the sometimes unrealistic expectations we hold for some of the dearest people in our lives.
Furthermore, allowing those gaps of misunderstanding and hurt in your relationships to be replaced with understanding and more love for those around you will make navigating your love language even more worth it.
Each type of love holds a light of beauty within it, you just have to surround yourself around those who appreciate your kind of love and will further help it flourish and reach its highest potential.