This Is Me Letting You Go So We Both Can Grow

When it comes to personal endeavors, I can name a lot, especially when it comes to relationships. But what I do know is how my failures are learning experiences. Everyone has their ups and downs. Sometimes I wonder when my “up” will be. But things like these take their time, and I believe that if it is for you, it will find a way to reach you.

My relationships have always been different from each other. Sometimes I was out of their league but still pushed through with being in a relationship, and sometimes things just got petty that’s why we broke up. But there is this one relationship that I wanted to last. But sadly, as the saying goes, good things come to an end.

I can say that we were a good couple. We were college sweethearts. We started out as friends, and eventually, one thing led to another and we found a way to each other’s hearts.

Like many relationships, we had our highs and lows. Mostly highs—we were in an almost never-ending honeymoon phase. We barely fought, and when we did, it wouldn’t last long. He would comfort me or I would head towards his place with food and apologize for whatever I did. You can say that we were like a couple from a movie.

Then the honeymoon phase ended. We were already two years into our relationship. There were fights left and right. When one ended, another one began. It was messy. I began to feel like I was the only one carrying our relationship on my back, that he was not doing anything to make things work. I was a total drama queen for having to take that burden myself.

When the fights ended, we would always go out and eat. It is one of my favorite things to do—explore different restaurants in Manila, from expensive places to those you see in the streets. It was cathartic. Being with him was one of the best feelings in the world. He was my home; he felt like comfort. A security blanket, if you may.

But this is not a romantic movie. This is real life. So this is where it ends.

I started feeling suffocated by his love. It seems like all the things I fell in love with were the reasons why I began to loathe him. His smile, the way he laughed, the way his hair fell gently on his forehead. It annoyed me. And sadly, he felt the same way. We felt like we were an old married couple. We stopped growing together. It felt like we were hindering each other from growing at all.

So, we talked about it. We said, “Let’s give this another chance, because we deserve it.” You see, everybody deserves a chance, and needless to say, our relationship needed that chance. We started being a happy couple again. Our friends were jealous of what we had. But slowly but surely, things went downhill. We both knew it was coming to an end. We were coming to an end.

And so it did. We decided it was the best thing for us. We needed to grow as individuals. It hurt so bad. We cried a lot. How can you let go of someone you still love so much? No goodbyes. We parted ways, and that was the end of everything for us.