Michelle Leman

This Is The One Thing Every Person Secretly Wants To Be Happy

Charles Bukowski wrote, “The impossibility of being human, all too human, this breathing, in and out, out and in.”

I tried to create a list of what I want in this life, an exercise in hopes to obtain my deepest desires, to actualize a future. The first item:

1. I want to love and to be loved.

When it comes right down to it, isn’t this the core of what drives all of us? Whether it’s ourselves, our family, our friends, or our potential life partners?

If we do not love ourselves, how do we expect others to? If we do not accept ourselves for our faults, our mistakes, our truths, how on earth can we expect another person to love us and all the parts contained within? If we are not forgiving ourselves for our past, if we are not sharing the weaknesses in our hearts, we are not giving our true selves to those we love. We have to love ourselves and accept all that encompasses. In loving ourselves, we can set an expectation with all relationships of love and respect.

I believe what we want in family and friends is similar—understanding, joy, a network. A reliable crutch to lean on when life seems too much to bear. A shoulder to cry on, a drink to be shared, a set of warm and welcoming arms. We want to know that no matter what, we are not alone, that these people we love will love us too.

The tricky part in all of it is understanding potential life partners, isn’t it? To understand what you want, to not be afraid to ask for it, to try to better yourself for that person. We all want a best friend with benefits. A confidant. An ally. Someone to share the bliss and the turmoil of this world. We want freedom to voice concerns, to fight without fear of being left. Trust. Understanding. To be stronger together than our weaknesses combined. We want to stand up for what we believe in but give way when we are wrong. To admit to those wrongdoings. To become better from them. Grow.

1. I want to love and to be loved.

I would wager this makes the top of the list for most of us.