This Is What It Means To Have The Pretty Girl Advantage

On January second, 2022, my friends and I stood outside the Versace Mansion on South Beach. I couldn’t figure out why everyone was taking photos in front of the grandeur place. I was unaware that Versace himself died on the exact spot. Or that there’s a whole Netflix documentary about it. Nonetheless, I was stuck between exhilaration and humility. I get caught up in finer things, but I try not to lose myself in them. I walked around with a barrier between everything and everyone who threw luxury my way.

I am a spiritual being, and I decide to work with spirituality. That is my calling, and despite my appearance or how the world views me, I choose to embrace it. Sometimes, it does give an exhausting feeling as if simple lives aren’t appreciated. Being in finer things and surrounded by prosperity is the only way to gain admiration. I’ve gone down a constant rabbit hole of why this is or why it’s this way. As I tried to express this feeling to my friend, he responded, “You have the pretty girl advantage.”

“I had never thought about it like that,” I say. But that is a lie. I have. 

The pretty girl advantage doesn’t seem like an advantage when it draws your soul away. I don’t know what I would do without admiration. But sometimes, it borders between standing on top of a mountain and falling off of one. As women, our counterparts in existence are our admirers, and we have to learn to counteract. It is no question that we are deserving of admiration. We are the portal from the spiritual to the physical realm. We are the key to an existence where we unlock the doors to a new reality through the eyes of our creation. A precious soul. With this connection and spiritual essence of the feminine, it is powerful. But we need the grounding and physicality the masculine has to offer. It’s no question that the masculine has overexerted physicality. In return, they have forgotten our essence. Our ability for connection and affection is our craving for sensuality. Somewhere along the lines, we got lost in physicality and luxury. We lost ourselves behind their passive nature and the lack of nurture behind their touch. As women, to feel like flowers amongst others, admired by the one who has chosen us. It’s ironic that the most beautiful things get picked to wither. In the end, my petals fall; that’s when I descend off of that mountain. 

The feminine essence is so hidden behind physicality that we developed an advantage. At what point is the use of my body an advantage? At what point did they assume my physicality meant more to me than my sensuality? This pretty girl advantage has hardened our hearts and stripped our feminine essence. We have developed a feeling of despair within admiration. Protection from the masculine has faded into undependability. We have developed armor and learned to depend on ourselves. This pretty girl advantage has turned into a boss bitch mentality. This boss bitch mentality is seen as savage, where confidence is portrayed as slutty and a way to take advantage. When in reality, it is not an advantage that women want. We want a stem to hold us as we blossom like a flower. The feminine craves the masculine strength to keep us on top of that mountain, where we can nurture and create in return. It is not the admiration of our physicality, but it is the perception. Women’s choice to be immodest does not change their need for strength from the masculine. To be confident in the feminine is strength in itself. Setting boundaries and celebrating our physical admiration is having sexual and sensual confidence. With this, we can receive protection and care from the masculine within good reason. 

This is the pretty girl advantage. Getting what you want seems fulfilling until you have a hole in your heart where masculinity isn’t welcome. You are your stem where you hold so much strength that masculinity seems inferior. Yet, there isn’t one without the other. The feminine and masculine are like yin and yang. So actually, it’s not inferior, but separate, nonexistent, and broken. It’s like I’m missing my other half. It’s not like my other half is a particular person, but it’s healthy masculinity. So as you go through life, you lose sight of sensuality and lose the power within your ability to create. You don’t even want to love or nurture anymore. Thank you for my advantages, but I lost everything within myself.