There’s this massive pressure to be a specific kind of woman in society today. And the narrative that women can’t be independent, have a career, and be on their own is one big lie. So I ask, what does it mean to be a woman? Does it mean we have to abide by society’s rules that we can’t have children out of wedlock? Or be unmarried, but still love and be with a person who can give us everything, even if it’s not on paper?
Does being a woman mean to defy the typical standards of what a woman’s body should look like? A woman with a curvy body, according to the misogynistic men out there, is not as beautiful as a woman who is thinner, and is also not worthy of a traditional type of love. Lies, we say. All lies. We say we are women, and all of us are worthy of good love. Being a woman is not about having the best of anything. It’s not about looking like a fake Kim Kardashian lookalike. That’s not real, and it’s not healthy to set standards like that. There’s a lot of women out there who strive to look like a version of themselves that isn’t who they are. And that isn’t what a woman should be like. It sets feminism way back, actually. If you strive to be a woman of greed, fame, and hunger, you become it. You feed off that fake reality of beauty or what a woman should be or how they should behave in public.
Being a woman doesn’t mean you are caged and unable to obtain your own desires, love, and needs. Being a woman isn’t always following the rules, it’s about taking risks and never regretting those risks. Being a woman doesn’t mean obeying a man or feeding into their lies, verbal assaults on your body, and what you should do for them. Being a woman isn’t being a slave to a man’s desires or wants. Being a woman isn’t being a man’s second choice. Being a woman isn’t about cooking, cleaning, or being the queen matriarch of a lonely household while feeding two kids and not having a job or your own money to keep you secure.
Being a woman is about not saying sorry when you feel hurt or in pain from a man’s deep wounds that scarred your mind, your heart, and your soul. Being a woman is about never feeling sorry for yourself. Being a woman is about never feeling the need to carry someone else’s pain while dealing with your own. Being a woman is about wanting passion, striving for your own independence away from the dependency you were so desperate to leave. Being a woman is about being a lover, but also having the courage to be a fighter for what you believe in.
Being a woman is not living for someone else in order to make them happy. Being a woman is not caring about what others think about you or who you date, are intimate with, or marry. Being a woman is about loving who you are unconditionally through all the flaws — flabby arms, non-flat stomach, scars, small breasts, big breasts, thin legs, curvy body, thin body, and all. Being a woman is loving your body, loving your bruises and burns that stayed with you through grief, love, sadness, depression, anxiety, and heartbreak. Being a woman means taking care of yourself even though your exhaustion is burning through your whole body and you want to just lay down and deal with it.
Being a woman means making hard choices and decisions when it comes to your mental health, and your body. Being a woman means saying that you are tired when you can’t do it anymore. Being a woman means leaving a situation that no longer serves you, lets you grow, or makes you feel good about yourself. Being a woman means allowing yourself to be free from shame and judgment and calling out men who don’t respect you. Being a woman means wanting more and never feeling bad about it.
And finally, being a woman means being able to love openly and freely and having the time of your life without feeling guilty. Being a woman is about knowing your worth and who you are. Most importantly, it’s about questioning what your purpose is in life and defining your own sexuality and identity. So, women go out there and redefine what a woman really is and say, “Fuck the social norms of what a woman should or shouldn’t be.” I am a woman, and there’s nothing you can do about it. I am strong, courageous, powerful, and I am not going to take it anymore. I stand beside the millions of women in history who have redefined what a woman is. And not what society wants us to be. Hear us roar.