This Is What Your Loneliness Wants You To Know

Loneliness and self-hatred like to come hand in hand. They’ll most likely join forces in making you believe that you are not worthy of being loved. They’ll haunt you down into the corner of your mind until you’re questioning your worth as a person. More often than not, you’ll believe them. You’ll start to believe that nobody in this world can understand what you feel inside. You’ll feel so alone because even in the middle of the crowd, no one seems to notice your sorrow and the agony of being left behind. 

Loneliness will make you believe that you don’t belong anywhere. It’ll whisper to your ear that you were born differently and no one will be able to help you handle your own mess. Loneliness will sneak jealousy within your heart until you see that everyone’s lives are better than yours. It’ll make you see that people seem happier with the family they have, the partner they are engaged with, or the friends that they’re hanging out with. It’ll make you feel lost and unwanted—and it’ll make you believe that something’s wrong with you. 

But loneliness is not quite the bad guy. Your self-hatred is.

When you’re not letting loneliness join forces with self-hatred, it can be seen as a sign for you to change your life to be better. Sometimes loneliness is the main sign that you need to do something with your life or yourself. It’s a sign that maybe some of your needs aren’t met. Loneliness comes as a subtle nudge in the gut as it wants you to believe that there are so many things this life could offer. Its presence wants to tell you that you deserve more. 

Maybe loneliness wants you to pursue the things that make you feel more alive. It tells you to take a leap of faith. To change the direction of your life. To tell you that you can do more and deserve more than you already had. It’s there to make you realize that you are meant to be with people who spark more joy and truly understand the struggles you have. Loneliness is a sign for you to make changes in your life, because sometimes loneliness also comes hand in hand with boredom. 

So, instead of seeing loneliness as the villain, see it as a calling. See it as an intuition for you to change. See it as an invitation for you to know yourself more. It’s there to make you see and understand yourself on a deeper level. Loneliness is an uncomfortable feeling for you to spot and tell you that maybe this is the right time to be more independent. To love yourself more. To be okay with being alone and to focus more on building your life than comparing yours with others’. Its presence is telling you that you can do anything by yourself only if you’re brave enough to take the first step. 

Loneliness serves as an invitation to challenge your assumption whether other people’s lives are better than yours. Maybe loneliness is a reminder to truly see those people who are always there to support you. It’s a calling for you to appreciate or evaluate your connection with your loved ones. Loneliness is a wake up call—to not take things for granted or to be more courageous in creating new meaningful connections.

So, when loneliness knocks on your door, don’t tell it to go away. Let it come and ask what it wants you to know. Allow yourself to listen carefully to what it says, then allow yourself to change. Allow yourself to take new opportunities and to see someone new. Allow yourself to step outside your comfort zone and see the world. Allow yourself to live more and learn to love yourself more. 

Being lonely is painful, but you can act upon it. From now on, see loneliness as a sign to change your life or yourself to be better. Because what loneliness really wants to tell you is, “You are a precious human being. You deserve more than this. Don’t just exist. Live.”