It all started as a broken little girl craving love, who instead received pain and fear. Little and fragile, always anticipating flight or fight.
As the little girl’s body grew, so did her heart, hungry for affection, but her mind stayed trapped in the prison of her childhood. Caged in toxicity. Unable to escape the patterns she grew accustomed to.
Associating love and normalcy with harsh words and hard hits, she chased this in other men as the years went on.
It was the comfort of chaos. It was a warm blanket to soothe the inner child who wished so deeply for a male’s approval, only to be met with abandonment and rejection. The mess of emotions felt familiar and like her twisted form of safety.
The beliefs grew strong into her foundation. If a man loves me, it also means he will hurt me. He will embrace me, but those same hands may strike me. Kind words will be followed by insults. He will build me up but more often he will beat me down until you look in the mirror and see a stranger. Along with your heart, he will also steal your identity and all your self esteem.
But as this so-called love begins leaving you desolate and empty, you look inside yourself and realize the strength that is buried in the layers of abuse. The endurance and resilience that is unbreakable.
But you must realize you are strong and it is you who can love that deprived child in you the best. Safety and security is within your own heart. As you nourish yourself and nurture your broken pieces, you will only become more powerful. The light that was stolen from you will burn fiercely and fiery with power and you will become the brightest version of yourself—only once you break the pattern of loving people who break you and begin to love yourself.