To The Man I Thought Was My Soulmate: Thank You For The Lessons

To the man I thought was my soulmate: thank you.

Thank you for showing me what love isn’t supposed to be like. Love shouldn’t be about being afraid to ask for my needs to be met, it’s about having the comfort of knowing they will be. It’s about receiving and doing more than the bare minimum. Love isn’t about wondering if they’ll surprise me with flowers when I’ve had a bad day, it’s about actually receiving those flowers on the bad days and the good days just because. Love shouldn’t be feeling as if they’ll leave unexpectedly but about the safety of knowing they will never get tired of me.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to see what it means to let go of someone who does not bring me joy, who does not fill me with warmth, who does not make me feel safe and secure, who does not love me in the way I deserve to be loved. Thank you for this opportunity to let you go, because in that, I can then make space for someone who does. I can make room in my heart for someone who will make me feel safe, secure, loved, and happy — and so much more.

Thank you for showing me how important it is for me to make a home in my body, to find solace in my own arms. Thank you for making me believe in soulmates. Thank you for making me believe that maybe I can be my own soulmate.

Thank you for showing me that love still exists, even if it’s not coming from you anymore.

(But then again, maybe it never came from you at all.)