If you had a friend who was trying to make the moves on your man, would you even know? The viral TikToks of former friends Joanna and Kelly reveal the red flags you may be dealing with something similar.
In her viral TikTok, Kelly explains that Joanna, her former friend and roommate, began some strange boundary-breaking behavior toward her boyfriend, going so far as to add him to her “close friends” story while posting “attention” and thirst traps, borrowing his hoodie and featuring herself wearing it multiple times in several contexts (including one that allegedly involved lingerie), and bringing him a special sandwich to “thank” him for mounting her television. The internet is in an uproar because they found out from Instagram that Kelly’s boyfriend also happens to be a hot muscular stud, and people are now shamelessly claiming they’d let him mount their television and don’t blame Joanna for trying. Get a grip, guys!
Kelly’s drama with her friend reminds me of something I experienced in the past. I remember when I was in a long-term relationship when a stranger online who followed my work started sending me strange messages asking me to visit her and “bring my boyfriend.” She followed me religiously on social media and we would sometimes exchange direct messages – but once I got a boyfriend, she suddenly began liking all the pictures of us together. For context, my boyfriend at the time was a muscular 6’4 man who had also recently gone through a glow up. While he had spent most of our relationship witnessing many men hitting on me even when he was around, around the time of his glow up it seemed that he also seemed to draw in weird, creepy women who would try to flirt with him in public despite knowing he had a girlfriend. So, I was certainly not naive to what this person was really trying to do. We never really did anything but laugh these experiences off. But the fact remains: if you’re a fan of my work, why would you need to meet a man who has nothing to do with you? I was reminded of this experience when I came across the viral TikTok and now tweet drama of Kelly and Joanna.
Kelly ended up ghosting Joanna, and Joanna responded defending herself, claiming these were all innocent acts. No one truly knows for sure who’s “right” or “wrong” in this scenario (although we can certainly form our own opinions), but such a circumstance does shed light on a common phenomenon that can occur when a friend appears to get too close to your partner. If you’ve ever heard of the term mate poaching, you probably know it’s all about attempting to get at someone else’s partner. Of course, no one truly can be “stolen,” and it takes two to tango, but mate poaching is actually a serious problem that has been associated with a serial pattern of trying to poach partners even if the poacher fails – it has even been connected to psychopathic traits in studies. So while this particular scenario may just be a big misunderstanding (or a legitimate display of red flags), we should all be cautious about who we let enter our lives and the friendships we cultivate.
This may just be a case of a friend who was misunderstood, but the fact of the matter is, there are actually toxic friends out there who will try to flirt with the partners of their friends, so it’s wise to keep our radar on for the red flags. Even the internet is saying they would flirt with Kelly’s man! So let’s remember to protect ourselves and our boundaries.