Warning Signs You’re Letting Them Get Away With The Bare Minimum

You never deserve to be treated poorly. It’s not your fault that someone is giving you less than you deserve. But there are signs that you’re letting them get away with the behavior when you should be breaking up with them (or having a serious discussion where you explain what needs to change):

You lie to your family and friends about the relationship all the time. If you’re constantly lying about the way your partner treats you, they must not be treating you well. They must not be rising to your standards. They must not be giving you what you deserve. You shouldn’t have to defend them to your family and friends by making up literal lies about what’s going on in the relationship. If you know the truth sounds bad, it’s probably because you deserve so much better. 

Every date is a disappointment. You might be excited about the idea of hanging out with them, but the reality isn’t all that exciting. In fact, you spend most of the date bored with them or annoyed by them. And when it’s over, you’re left feeling disappointed.

You make excuses for their bad behavior every single day. They never own up to their bad behavior or apologize over treating you poorly, so you make excuses for them. You tell yourself that they only treated you that way because they were tired or overworked or drunk or high. But it doesn’t matter why they did what they did. It matters what they did. It matters whether they hurt you. Remember, the right person would never treat you poorly, no matter what kind of mood they’re in.

You pretend everything is perfectly fine in public and cry behind closed doors. You should be able to get emotional in front of your person. You shouldn’t feel the need to lie to your person – or lie to yourself. If you feel like this person is only giving you the bare minimum, speak up or break up. But please, don’t put up with their mediocre behavior. You deserve so much more.

The relationship feels severely unbalanced. You shouldn’t be sending the first text every time and planning all the dates. You shouldn’t be leading all the conversations and asking all the questions. There should be give and take. There should be a balance to your conversations and your relationship as a whole.

You constantly belittle your own feelings. You keep your problems to yourself instead of sharing it with them because you feel like you don’t deserve to be unhappy. You feel like you don’t deserve to complain. But in a healthy relationship, you’re able to speak freely about whatever is on your mind. You shouldn’t be keeping quiet because you’re worried about coming across as overemotional. Your emotions are valid. Your thoughts matter. You should never keep quiet to keep the peace because really, you’re only keeping their peace. And what about yours? You shouldn’t silently suffer because you’re afraid of conflict. The right person would want you to confide in them. They wouldn’t want you to be this upset.