It’s been said many times before and it will be said many times again: modern dating sucks. While modern dating will probably always be difficult to navigate, there are a number of ways you can definitely make it way harder than it needs to be. Here are four ways you’re doing just that.
- Making endless excuses for someone treating you badly because you’re afraid you won’t find someone else
If someone you’re dating constantly blows you off, takes forever to text back, refuses to validate your feelings, belittles you, or does anything else disrespectful, stop making excuses for them.
It doesn’t matter if work is “so insane right now” or if they’re “just going through something.” Those are not excuses for treating you like shit. (Tbh, there is never a good excuse for treating someone like shit, especially someone you supposedly like, but anyway!)
You don’t need to put up with bad behavior because you’re afraid you won’t find someone else. No, they aren’t “better than nothing.” You deserve better. Don’t settle. Kind love is out there.
- Ghosting after a few weeks
Unless someone has made you feel incredibly uncomfortable or unsafe, being unwilling (or unable) to have a difficult conversation with another person you’ve been dating doesn’t do you any favors either. Learn how to let someone down gently. Have a hard discussion. Set a good example. Let them go kindly.
- Going on dating benders without break
If you’re constantly bouncing from date to date, Hinge match to Hinge match, and not taking a minute to ask yourself if you even like any of these people you’re going out with or talking to, you need to take a step back. But, most importantly, you need to ask yourself why you’re barreling through all the Tinder accounts in your five-mile radius.
Are you dating to find a real relationship? Or are you dating nonstop for distraction from your last heartbreak? Are you dating around to get more experience? Or are you dating so ferociously because you’re afraid you’re missing out? Be honest.
- Not taking your standards seriously
When you find someone who checks the majority of your boxes, it’s totally understandable to ignore some glaring red flags because it’s taken so long to get this far. For example, maybe you’re dating a woman who loves all the same music you do but differs majorily in what her values are. Having similar interests won’t get you through incompatible lifestyles. Trust that.
Take your standards seriously. Know what your dealbreakers are. Understand where you have some flexibility. And, most importantly, accept that finding the right fit for you is supposed to be hard. But that perfect person for you is worth the effort, the fight, the hope. Keep your head up. Modern dating sucks, not you.