What I Want My Sister To Know About Entering Her 20s
Welcome to your 20s. These won’t be the best years of your life. They will, however, be the most transformative. You will grow and change and be a million different people before 26. But once you get over the hump, things start to become a little clearer. You will make it to that ripe age of 30, almost feeling secure in who you are and where you’re headed. But you will travel through the mud and the inevitable quicksand to get there.
You will go through many changes throughout your 20s. 22 to 25 will feel torturous. You’ll be overwhelmed constantly. You’ll wonder what you’re doing if you’re supposed to be doing more. You’ll scroll through your Instagram feed and see your friends and former classmates reaching life moments that seem lightyears away from happening for you. You’ll fall down numerous rabbit holes filled with self-doubt, locked doors, and unanswered questions. There will be days where you feel like you’re on the right path and that soon things will begin to fall into place for you too. But there will also be days where the outside societal pressure will start to seep into your bubble.
Maybe you’ll figure out your career path early and find a job that makes you feel happy and fulfilled right out of college. Or perhaps you won’t, and you’ll spend most of your 20s wondering where you went wrong and why. Maybe you’ll find that dream job, and then in a few years realize it’s not at all what you imagined and you have to start all over again at 25. Maybe you’ll graduate at 22, get a temporary job, and then get so wrapped up in everyday life that figuring out your next step feels impossible and entirely out of reach. No matter what happens, you will figure it out. It doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing. Your path is yours and yours alone. It doesn’t matter when you find that dream job or don’t. It doesn’t matter if you start a career at 22 or 30. No matter what, you are going to feel like a failure. There will be people who seem like they’re on top of the world. Their social feeds will be telling you that, anyway. They got the dream job, they met the person they’re going to marry, and then they bought a house and started a family. Or they got the dream job, they travel constantly, and there’s not a weekend that goes by that they’re not without friends clearly celebrating life. Whatever you want your life to be, it will always seem like someone else has everything you want and more.
The worst part about your 20s is not knowing. Not knowing if you’re making the right choices. Not knowing if things will get better tomorrow or a year from now. Not knowing most people your age are also feeling just as lost and unsure. The best part? You have me. I’ve been through it, and it sucked for me too. There are things I wish I had done differently, but there are also things I wouldn’t change for the world. I spent my 20s allowing myself to explore. I went to concerts, traveled (usually for concerts), said yes when friends asked me to go on an adventure, and had fun. Don’t be afraid to have fun. This is the time to enjoy being young and having the freedom to go places, meet new people, and discover things about yourself. I had a lot of fun, but I also held onto an incredible amount of guilt for doing so. You can live your life even when it feels like a mess—don’t punish yourself for being human.
Your 20s are not going to be like what you’ve seen in the movies. Life is more of a rollercoaster you didn’t ask to ride than it is a fairytale. Try to remember: everyone around you is going through it too. It’s cliche, but it’s true. We’re all just figuring it out as we go. Day by day. No one has a clue what they’re doing. Some are simply better at faking it than others. Keep your chin up—I know it’s hard and overwhelming and scary, but that’s what art, music, books, movies, and TV shows are for. To remind us that we’re not alone in this world and that it’s okay to mess up as long as you remember to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again tomorrow.