Giving yourself another shot at love means opening yourself up to pain, heartbreak, and disappointment yet again. And loving someone again after getting out of a toxic relationship is harder than it seems.
When you start a relationship with someone who treats you way better than anyone else did, people think it’s all rainbows and butterflies. But what they don’t know is that being in a good relationship after the failed ones can sometimes be just as difficult as staying in a bad relationship.
It is not easy to be in a healthy relationship when you come from one bad one after another. There are years and years of trauma you have to heal by yourself. You also have to unlearn all your toxic behavior, and it is easier said than done.
No matter how perfect your current partner is, the trust issues will always be there, even if they have never given you any reason to doubt their love. And even if it’s not your intention, your guard is always up. You are always ready to protect and save yourself from another heartbreak, even if things are going great.
Sometimes, even if they assure you every day, you still overthink. What if it doesn’t work out? What if I ruin it for us? What if I get hurt again? What if I don’t deserve him? And all the what-ifs just keep on coming; it’s an endless battle inside your mind.
There is always that fear that one day you might mess up the best relationship you’ve had so far because of your trauma and issues.
You think you are difficult to love and that you don’t deserve to be treated any better because of your past. You also think that the walls you have built for so long to protect yourself could be the same reason your healthy relationship might not work out.
But you have to remember that protecting yourself so perfectly will get you nowhere. There’s no harm in allowing yourself to be vulnerable.
After all the heartbreaks, you deserve to be happy and be with someone good for your mental health.
No relationship is perfect, but you have to trust and start believing there’s a person willing to love you beyond your flaws and traumas. Hold on to that before it becomes too late.