Arina Krasnikova

What No One Tells You About Losing A Loved One

No one tells you that when they pass, you can actually feel the empty space on earth that was once occupied by their love for you.

And when you finally come to grips with the fact that they aren’t physically here anymore, but here in spirit, you’ll find some peace, but it still won’t be enough to patch up the small hole in your heart.

That although signs are beautiful forms of communication, like a butterfly landing on your palm, a shiny penny in the street, or a vibrant feather on your path, you long for a simple phone call instead. And, this very longing tends to make you swell up with regret for the times you were too busy to pick up. 

And, even if you’ve managed to comprehend or make peace with the fact that it was their time to go, you can’t help but want them here in the physical for just one more day, one more hug, one more conversation over dinner. Because, if you could see them again, you would thank them for all they’ve done, and you would finally catch up and introduce them to the new person you’ve had to become in their absence. You’d share all the ways your grief permanently shaped you as a person; the hurdles, the healing, and all you’ve overcome despite it all. How you managed to fuel your purpose with your pain, because you know it’s what they would have wanted for you, and one of the only things allowing you to feel connected to them in your darkest moments.

But what they wish they could tell you is how proud of you they are. How they haven’t missed a single moment, and how they see all the ways you’ve changed. How they’re in awe of your ability to persevere. How you’re their favorite person to cheer on from the other side. How their main job in the afterlife is to protect you from harm. And how when you break down in grief filled tears, they’re right beside you, with an arm draped over your shoulder, whispering I’m closer than it appears.” And how their love never left you. In fact, they had such a surplus, they made a special point to leave a little extra here – so you could see that when it comes to their love, not even death can interfere.