This week, a viral Twitter thread with some misogynistic men explaining the stage they started “hating their girlfriend,” even going so far as to claim they’d rather physically attack their loving girlfriend than spend quality time with her sparked serious outrage. It offended both women and high-quality men who would never engage in this behavior. Some of the tweets even expressed sadistic pleasure at causing women to cry. Many women expressed their disgust and disdain at the fact that these men were staying in relationships with women they “didn’t even like.” But here’s what women aren’t realizing and what many people are missing about this thread.
Sadistic and cruel bullying behaviors like this have nothing to do with “liking” someone – they stem from a core lack of empathy and callousness. People may ask, why don’t these types of men just break up with their girlfriends? But it’s not about their interest – their lack of empathy does not make them good relationship material for any woman. Putting the devaluing behaviors of low-quality and low-value partners like these on a pedestal only gives any merit to their perspective. Understand this: high-quality men (and high-quality women) who are worth dating are not going to be wasting their time staying in relationships or even pursuing people they don’t have interest in, nor will they be devaluing their partners on social media. They won’t be busy exploiting others if they’re not genuinely interested. Can you imagine any high-quality partner, wasting their time online writing up these misogynistic insults and threats?
This thread wasn’t really about not liking or hating your girlfriend and has nothing to do with their interest in their partners. If it did, they would’ve never pursued such relationships in the first place; men generally don’t date women they’re not attracted to or have some sort of romantic interest in. They are not pressured or socialized by society like women are to emphasize personality over looks when it comes to choosing their dating partners – so they usually bat way out of their league when it comes to dating and relationships. So if you are reading this thread thinking this is how “all” people who are disinterested in someone act, think again. If a man was interested enough to pursue you and is suddenly playing mind games or even psychologically abusing you, you’re not dealing with a “normal” person.
These people writing hate tweets about their partners don’t actually want to break up with their partners because their girlfriends provide the value of validating them to society. When they have an attractive, loving, smart woman on their arm, they know society looks at them differently. Many of the participants display emotionally abusive beliefs and ideas and contributing to such a thread is in fact emotionally abusive to your partner whether you’re a man or a woman.
This was a narcissistic display of a group of people who have a lack of empathy and an abundance of misogyny. They feel entitled to degrading their partners – these are people no one would willingly want to end up with. Their tweets point to a deep-seated resentment, cowardice, and need to exert control and power over their partners.
The next time you feel compelled to internalize a narcissistic partner’s devaluation, remember that these are the toxic types that treat even their “dream woman” with callousness because long-term they don’t have the empathy, emotional intelligence, or confidence to provide value to their partners.
This thread was not written by or contributed to by people who are even emotionally healthy enough to be in a relationship. No high-quality man would ever write such a thread especially about their current girlfriends and relationship partners because high-quality men don’t put themselves in a position where they are in a one-sided relationship in the first place nor do they have such deep misogyny that they are willing to figuratively and physically enact violence on the people they supposedly love. Do not look at these threads and project ideas of being “chosen” or “mistreated” due to some level of authentic liking or desire. The opinions of these people simply do not matter because they’re not even worthy of you. A low quality partner’s perspective or being chosen by a low-quality partner is not the prize here.
The thread is important for women to look at, however, because it’s a key reminder that you should never stay in a relationship where you’re not actively cherished and respected by your partner, let alone emotionally abused by them in this manner. If you are in that type of relationship where a partner is withdrawing and treating you callously with disrespect once they’ve gotten you invested, it’s not because there’s something wrong with your value or worth: it’s because they’re emotionally abusive and toxic.