Never bring up problems from the past. They want to deal with the situation in front of them right now. They live in the moment and don’t want to look back. They don’t want you to hold old problems over their head when that’s not what you’re discussing.
Never give them the silent treatment. They want to hear your feelings on the situation. You’re never going to be able to see eye-to-eye if you’re shutting down or expecting them to read your mind.
Never guilt trip them. Never make them feel like a horrible person for criticizing you when they’ve done so much for you in the past. Never throw your nice deeds in their face, like it excuses you from all wrongdoing.
Never call them overemotional or act like they’re blowing the situation out of proportion when they’re simply expressing their feelings about the situation. Otherwise, they’ll never want to open up to you again.
Never resort to name calling. Even though they’re passionate and might lose their temper, they aren’t going to say anything inexcusable – and they expect you to do the same.
Never raise your voice at them. They’ll consider this disrespectful and immature. After all, they are aware it’s perfectly possible to have a calm, mature discussion about your feelings.
Never share your complaints about them online – or hop on the phone to complain about them to others. They want their private life to remain private. They don’t want the whole world to know their relationship problems.
Never drag loved ones into the fight. The problem is between the two of you, so don’t ask others their opinion to try to prove them wrong.
Don’t pretend you’ve forgiven them when you’re still pissed at them. They want to get everything out in the open as soon as possible. They don’t want to deal with the same issue for weeks to come. They would rather get the fight over with so it’s done.
Never treat them like they’re stupid. Never insult their intelligence by lying to their face or giving them ridiculous excuses for your behavior. They’re too smart to believe your stories. They’re going to know you’re bullshitting them.
Never interrupt them when they’re in the middle of a thought. If they give you the chance to speak, then return the favor. Let them speak their mind. You don’t have to yell over them in order to get your point across.
Never walk away when they’re trying to express themselves. They have a hard time opening up, so if you ignore what they’re saying, they might not say it again. They might clam up and avoid being honest with you moving forward.