When Grief Visits, Choose To Welcome It

If given the choice, would you rather have a chance at happiness or let sadness take up space in your heart? 

They say happiness is a fleeting moment—cherish it while it lasts, because sadness is lurking right around the corner. Who would voluntarily welcome being upset? It always overstays its welcome. It stops us from enjoying beautiful evenings with our friends and forces us to cancel our plans, only to drown in sorrow by the window, watching as the world moves on. 

Joy sure is fleeting. Sometimes she seems to be in a hurry to leave, although we wish she stayed longer. So I always let Joy stay for as long as she does, only to be followed by Grief. I say that when Grief visits you, this one time, don’t deny her existence. Don’t run from her. Don’t tell her to go away or distract yourself from her presence. Don’t be afraid of her.  Welcome her. Know that she won’t stay permanently. 

Grief is Joy’s misunderstood sister. She is the other half of Joy, just like the unseen shadowy part of the moon behind the bright ivory shining front we see at night. But she only means well. She visits you to help you realize there are so many beautiful things that you deserve in this life. She knows your hurt, she knows what you want and what you didn’t get. She knows you’ve been treated unfairly and that you didn’t deserve all the hurt you’ve been put through. In fact, she understands you the most. And she knows her visits are unpleasant. But that’s what her purpose is in your life. She comes to you to teach you how to sew yourself back up piece by piece. She comes to you to teach you how to be happier. 

She may appear in many different forms to you, but she loves you just as dearly as Joy does. She was never given a rightful seat at the table, which is why she keeps coming back. When you take the time to sit with her, and get to know her better, she will tell you stories you know but have pushed back into some dark corner of your mind and shut into a box. She brings back painful memories because without facing your hurt, you won’t know how to grow from it. There are so many lessons to be learned and so much to hope for. Let her take over and help you put your puzzle back together. But don’t worry, one day she will run out of stories, and then slowly she will stop visiting you. Because you will stop needing her. She may drop by once in a while or stealthily creep up behind Joy, but only to watch you from afar to see how you’re doing. 

You’ll probably catch a glimpse of her through a train window or in between crowds of people passing through a busy crosswalk. You’ll feel her presence, but that’s all it would be. She knows she doesn’t need to visit you as often because you’ve already healed so much. But just know your Grief is a part of you that cares about you more than she gets credit for. One day she will watch you become the best version of your magical being. And she will be proud of how far you’ve come.