I cannot tell you how things are going to turn out. I cannot tell you if the decision that you just made was the right one, and I certainly cannot tell you if you are focusing on the things that will lead you to where you need to end up. But I can tell you this: whenever you feel lost, scared, and overwhelmed, you will have moments that will remind you just how beautiful and worthy life can be. When you wake up and the sun hits you gently on your face and you are grateful for being able to have one more try in this life, holding your warm cup of coffee and realizing that, for minutes, it seems like the world just stopped turning, when you hold your grandma’s hand, when you hear the sound of your dog’s paws right behind you, when you see a photo that leaves you breathless, and when you walk in front of a garden and you realize that those little white flowers look like snow on the grass, even though it’s summer.
Life can be really overwhelming, so when you feel like you cannot handle it anymore, when you feel like it doesn’t belong to you anymore, look at those things that make your heart feel hugged, that gives you a reason to keep going and that shout out to you that there are so many things that you will soon live, that your story is unique and it deserves to be lived and told. Those are usually hidden right in front of your face.
I know that trusting in whatever force you believe in may be one of the hardest things to do in those moments, and I surely cannot ask you to do so, but I ask you to please trust in yourself, your intentions and your intuitions. You are a valuable thing, so when someone you know tells you that you are strong and that you are ready for your next chapter, trust them. Don’t try to shut yourself down.
When you are focusing on this, on yourself, try to remember that humans are not good with change. So probably when you start changing, growing, and getting out of your comfort zone, some of the people you know will be left behind, some of them will only be spoken about in past tense. Please do not try to find a culprit; remember that everyone is dealing with something and not everyone is ready to hold your hand and celebrate all your wins, and that is okay—the past does not erase the love that lived inside it.
Life is unplanned and rebellious—even if you tried to put it onto a specific path, it would just do what it wants to do. But please, if you feel that your chest is tight and it’s hard to slow down your thoughts, remember all the times that you felt like this before; you’ve been here and you’ve done it. This is just another round.