When Someone Hurts You, Screw ‘The High Road’
When someone acts inappropriately, you’re allowed to feel hurt. Don’t let anyone convince you to take the high road when the high road means letting disrespect slide. The high road means letting someone get away with treating you poorly. The high road means avoiding confrontation, avoiding consequences. The high road means keeping the peace so everyone around you can feel comfortable while you’re dying inside.
Why should you be the only one suffering? If someone hurts your feelings, you are allowed to use your voice. You are allowed to express your frustration and anger and pain. You are allowed to have feelings, too.
Don’t let anyone convince you that your feelings are an inconvenience. Anyone who acts like you’re a burden for expressing your emotions is not worth a second of your time. They don’t care about you enough to listen to you, to take your concerns seriously, to make changes that will help you feel more comfortable. They don’t care about you at all.
Don’t let anyone convince you that you’re overreacting, either. Don’t let anyone accuse you of being too sensitive when they were only making a joke. Their intention doesn’t matter. Your reaction matters. The way they made you feel worthless and alone matters. If you’re the one with hurt feelings, you shouldn’t feel compelled to apologize to them for blowing things out of proportion—especially when you’ve expressed your feelings calmly and clearly. You should never apologize for the way you feel. Your emotions are valid.
You shouldn’t let anyone tell you how to feel. If someone doesn’t give a damn about hurting you, that’s not a sign that you overreacted to the situation. It’s a sign that you were right about them, that they clearly don’t care about your feelings, that they aren’t concerned with whether or not you feel safe around them. If someone only wants you around when you’re in a good mood and rolls their eyes whenever you have a single complaint, then they aren’t in your corner. They aren’t going to be there for you in a real, substantial way.
When someone hurts your feelings, don’t bottle everything up inside. Don’t pretend you’re perfectly fine in order to avoid drama. If someone hurts you, you’re not the one creating the problem. You’re only the one acknowledging it. And that’s what you’re supposed to do in real friendships and relationships. You’re supposed to be honest with each other. You’re supposed to talk things through when feelings get hurt and make up with each other. Pretending nothing is wrong might keep them happy – but what about your happiness? That should matter, too.
You’re allowed to express how upset someone has made you, even if It’s going to cause a strain on your relationship. You’re allowed to speak up, to voice your innermost feelings, to let them know how their words and actions have impacted you. And if they don’t care about how badly they’ve hurt you, you’re allowed to walk away from them. You’re allowed to say I don’t deserve to be treated this way and refuse to associate anymore in the future.