It is easier to be angry than to forgive, which is why we should never get mad. Anger makes us suffer and doesn’t solve anything. We need to allow ourselves to feel whatever we feel, but we shouldn’t let anger take over us too much because we won’t see the other side.
Not only this, but having compassion for that person softens your heart. It helps you forgive them because you are now no longer holding up your anger or resentment.
Love is the most potent force in the universe. It is the only force capable of elevating human beings. This fact should never be forgotten by us, especially if you have become too carried away.
Forgiveness is a complicated and challenging process, and it’s not always easy to forgive someone who has hurt us in the past. We often think of forgiveness as an unconditional act, but we forget about the days and weeks we spend dwelling on what happened, constantly feeling anger and resentment.
There is a tremendous difference between forgiveness and acceptance. You can forgive someone, but it is difficult to accept what they have done to hurt you.
Acceptance means that you do not wish this person to return to your life and you do not imagine them going to a different place. It is a critical stage in forgiveness because it enables you to live your life without anger or resentment.
Forgiveness allows you to trust that everything will be okay again. It is a very fragile process, so it is necessary to keep alert so as not to lose hope.
But it allows you to see the pain in the other person. The best way to know whether you have forgiven is to know yourself. Do not judge yourself for your feelings, and remember that forgiveness involves everybody, so do not feel hurt for all the people who did not forgive him or herself.
To accept them is difficult, but it is the only possibility of forgiveness. Acceptance does not mean that you forget what happened in the past, but rather that you decide to let go of this part of your life and keep on living with it without hurting yourself again.
Yet, we must be careful. If we choose to keep this person in our life because sometimes “being there” can cross the line into enabling their behavior and not holding them accountable for what they have done.
Which leads me to this: What can you do?
You can love them. You can try to understand. And the best thing you can do is be mindful of this cycle and not take it personally when they hurt you.
When loved by others, we become less willing to hurt others because we become aware of the pain that we cause them and of the potential consequences of continued hurtful behavior. We also experience a greater desire for intimacy and closeness in relationships. We begin to trust and connect with others in ways that increase our capacity for intimacy and connection.