Why do you love me so much?
It’s a question l would often find myself asking.
You never fail to say those three words
every time we hang up on our call
or every time we say farewell to each other.
Perhaps it was all the love l had given out willingly.
To all the people who did not feel they deserved it.
To those who never asked for it.
To those who never returned it back.
Not that l would expect them to.
And even to those who never appreciated it.
Until the universe decided it was time to give back.
And that’s why you are here.
Perhaps l had given pieces of myself willingly.
Handing them out like a flyer to any passerby who was kind enough to notice.
Holding doors for those who constantly looked for a way out.
Lying awake for hours at night for a single reply.
Waiting for those who couldn’t care less.
Until the universe decided to step in and say
“Enough is enough” and here you are.
Perhaps it was my mother who only knew how to love me with her hands.
Because actions speak harder than words.
Perhaps l never learnt that love meant telling someone how much they are worth it.
Or how much you are important no matter what you do.
Until the universe decided that it was time
that l learnt that words of love and appreciation
are much as important as actions itself
And thus you are here.
Perhaps it was my way of seeing people
and accepting them for who they are.
To be kind to them as l couldn’t be kind to me.
To believe in them in a way l could never believe me.
To love them as l could not love me.
Until the universe decided it was time
that someone told me that l deserve love.
And hence here you are.
No matter how much l wonder about why you love me,
even if there are thousands of reasons,
I will never find the perfect answer.
Perhaps it could be the universe, perhaps not.
Perhaps we both were the other parts of our whole selves
lost in years of searching until we finally found ourselves.
Perhaps it was you who realized it first before I did.
And so you decided to stay no matter what.
So why do you love me so much?
Perhaps we were meant to be where we are now.
Perhaps we will never know why and that’s okay.
Perhaps this is my way of figuring out
what I am trying to say to you all this time.
Or perhaps this is my way of saying out loud
how much I love you too.