Why Toxic Loves Are So Hard To Leave
Candice Picard

Why Toxic Loves Are So Hard To Leave

Toxic loves are so hard to leave because you know this person isn’t all bad. Even though this person treats you terribly half of the time, they’re an angel on earth the other half of the time. You’ve seen their softest sides. You’ve been kissed and complimented by their lips. Plus, you know how much shit they’ve been through in the past. You know things aren’t exactly easy for them. You keep giving them the benefit of the doubt and letting excuses slide because you know so much about them. You know they aren’t all bad. You know they have beautiful qualities too. But the good days can’t cancel out the bad days. You can’t ignore the horrible way they’re treating you today in the hopes that they’ll treat you better tomorrow. You need to ask yourself whether what they’re doing is okay, whether you would accept it if it were happening to someone else you love.

Toxic loves are so hard to leave because you’re holding onto the hope that they will change. You believe people are capable of bettering themselves. You believe in second chances. You believe in sticking by your partner through thick and through thin. Since you know that this person has a lot of potential, you are hoping that they will see reason and start to change. You are hoping they’ll love you enough to stop hurting you. You are hoping they’ll follow through on their promise this time—even though they’ve broken promises so many times before. Even though it’s wonderful that you have such a huge heart, you have to remember that forgiveness doesn’t have to include reconciliation. You can forgive them without keeping them in your world. You can care about them without keeping in contact with them. You can love them from afar.

Toxic loves are so hard to leave because you’re overwhelmed with mixed signals. Some days, they take you for granted, and other days, they act the way they did in the beginning. You see glimmers of the person they were when you first fell for them, when they were sweet every hour of every day. You don’t want to believe that perfect person turned into a monster. You don’t want to think about what they’ve done to you. So you ignore it. You drown out your doubts. You pretend everything is fine. But you can’t put on a performance forever. You can lie to the rest of the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.

Toxic loves are so hard to leave because you don’t want to admit that you’ve made a mistake. You don’t want to acknowledge the fact that you picked the wrong person. And you certainly don’t want to jump back into the dating pool. You’ve already put so much time and effort into this relationship, so you want it to work. You don’t see the harm in staying for a little while longer, in trying to fix this thing that you’ve already devoted so much of your energy to. But you can’t keep procrastinating. If you don’t belong together, you should get out before things get worse. Get out because you still have the chance to build a future with someone else – or on your own. Anything is better than remaining with a toxic love.