You are enough.
You are enough when you make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. You say things you don’t mean to say or want to say, you do things you regret, and you don’t take chances that you wished you had. You think about all the things you think you’ve done wrong and you try to fix them, but then new mistakes come up and you feel bad all over again. It makes you want to give up during the hardest times. But making mistakes, not being “perfect,” or doing what is “perfect” are all parts of life. It simply means you are human, and being human means trying your best. You are enough.
You are enough when you compare yourself to others. You may think that someone has a better life than you do. You may think someone has their dream job, the best friends, the perfect partner, all the money they could ask for, has traveled around the world to places you’ve dreamed of visiting, and overall have a glamorous life you can only hope to live. You may think there’s no way you could possibly match up to their greatness. You think about everything you’ve wanted to achieve and more, and you think there’s no point when there are people doing it “better” than you are. But you don’t need to compete with someone else or even be on an “equal” level with someone else, because there is no such thing. You have your own accomplishments that you can see if you look at yourself objectively. You have good things going on in your life—great things, even—and you have skills and talents unique to only you that no one else could rival, even if they wanted to. You are talented, amazing, creative, smart, and so much more. You don’t need to compare yourself to others. You are enough.
You are enough, even when you don’t feel like it. You have days where you feel like you don’t add up, no matter how hard you try. Your imposter syndrome settles in and tells you you’re wrong, you’re screwing things up, and that you’re “tricking” people into believing a false narrative that paints you well. Your anxiety ramps up and tells you every terrible thing you could possibly think of will happen to you in life. You think of times when you’ve been embarrassed and fear terrible memories will define your life forever. You think that all your negative experiences in life amount to who you are as a person and that you’ll never persevere. But that’s not true. You matter as a person; you always have, and you always will. And while some days are better than others, some moments, some hours, even, the fact that you are enough will never change.
You are enough because of who you are. How could you be anything else? What are the expectations you place on yourself that are so heavy, so insurmountable, that it makes you feel like you don’t add up? What are the unrealistic pressures you put on yourself that you don’t put on others? What are the things you say to yourself that you would never say to a friend or anyone else because of the sheer cruelty and unbelievable expectations that one person can be a superhuman?
Here’s a secret that’s not so secret, but one we need constant reminders of: everyone is struggling: No one has the perfect life they wish they had for themselves, even if they seem like they do. People aren’t always confident. People don’t always believe in themselves. People get jealous of others and think that they lack something they need or want in life. People aren’t happy all the time, and they shouldn’t have to be, either. It’s perfectly okay to not be okay—in fact, it’s guaranteed that no of us will be okay all the time. And that’s okay. It doesn’t diminish who we are.
There will always be something we’ll want in life. There will always be a time when we struggle, from short periods of time to long periods of time. And there will always be times when we question our worth as people because no one is 100% confident all the time. That’s understandable. But thinking you are not enough does not make that thought automatically true. For every thought you think proves you’re not worth it, you can come up with another thought that proves you are worth it.
There’s nothing in life that determines if we “deserve” to be here or not. Regardless of your religious beliefs (or lack of them), we can never say for certain that certain people “deserve” to exist while others don’t. You could argue that means that you don’t matter, but you could just as easily argue that it means you do matter.
You never have to justify your existence to anyone—not even yourself. The simple fact that you exist is beyond any proof you need that you’re important. You are enough, and you always will be enough.