Maksim Goncharenok

You Are Not Meant For Everyone, And That’s Okay

There is a deep need in most of us and that is the need to belong, to feel like we comfortably fit in a community. We want to be accepted, loved, and respected by as many people as possible. It is an indicator that we are generally doing well in life. It creates harmony and peace. The lack of them in our lives could create a great deal of anxiety, depression, and conflict in our lives. 

Sometimes we show up as ourselves and the world doesn’t like that very much. The world doesn’t always meet us with warm welcomes and endless support. Moments like these could really make you question your worth. Why am I not liked? Why did this not work out, although I put so much effort in it? We all have moments where we felt like we weren’t enough, and in turn, our hearts cracked a little. 

But the truth is, not everyone and not every experience is meant for you. The rejection doesn’t make you less of a person. You simply can’t belong to everyone and every place. You are special and distinct and you attract specific things and people. Not always fitting in and being accepted means you are different and authentic. It means you have character. Not everyone will appreciate what you are, and while that is their right, you have to remember not to shrink and shy away from who you initially are. 

You just work on yourself, on the goodness of your heart, on your intellect, on your ambition and what is yours will find you. Let things naturally evolve from there. You will attract the things and the people who are meant to stay. Think of it this way: You also don’t like everyone you meet, even if they do like you, and you don’t identify with everything that is around you. Therefore, we have to have the strong muscle of accepting rejection and also giving it if we want to reach where we are headed.

When I was younger, It used to drive me crazy when I wanted to be friends with someone who didn’t like me or when I wasn’t accepted in a community I wanted to belong to. I used to think something was wrong with me. I used to put the blame on myself. I thought I must be doing something wrong, but then I came to the realization that those people and experiences I was so desperately seeking probably weren’t a good fit, because if they were, things would have worked out. It is as simple as that. Sometimes we just want to create excuses as to why something is the way it is, but it is often a waste of time. The most beautiful things and experiences in my life are ones that evolved naturally. They weren’t forced and didn’t question my dignity and worth to reach them. They don’t leave you feeling like you gave your all without any return on investment. 

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t check on your behavior or see if you are doing anything wrong. We are all imperfect beings who could use some improvement, but also realize that as long as you are constructively working on yourself and you’re not harming anyone, then you’ve done your part. There is no need to blame yourself. Let all that is not yours go, because what you have to really struggle to keep instead of thrive was not yours anyway.