Helena Lopes

You Deserve Someone Who Loves You Back Even More

Letting love in is a skill no one teaches you at school or even in adulthood. You read about it all the time but you don’t know why it’s so hard to do in practice. Even when you think you’re doing it, something’s still not quite right and you end up hurting.

Or perhaps you never truly believe in it.

“Love someone who loves you even more,” they say. But does that person really exist? What is that love really like? You wonder. How can you imagine such a thing when all you know is being mistreated and abandoned? Even when your own parents don’t seem to care about you?

And that’s the problem. But that’s also your key to a different reality.

If you want love to manifest in your life, you have to believe in it and actively recognize it—even the platonic, non-familial kind. You have to act like someone who’s loved on a daily basis. You have to know for sure what love is and what love is not. You have to stop tolerating pain.

You don’t deserve pain. You deserve love. Lots of it.

Love is your birthright.

“Love someone who loves you back even more.” I like the way it’s worded.

Love is an action; it’s a choice. You can choose who you love, and you can say no to those who you don’t want.

If you’re lucky, it won’t take you too long till you meet someone who sees you as the star you are and chooses to love you every day. Someone who makes love feel easy like it’s already yours. Someone whom you love both by choice and by nature.

It’s worth fighting for.

Loving someone who loves you back even more is rewarding, to say the least.

You don’t have to worry about being taken for granted or that your acts of care and service won’t be appreciated and reciprocated. You’re free to give as much as you want because you know you’ll get back even more one way or another. Your effort isn’t wasted away; it contributes to the foundation of your life together.

Loving someone who loves you back even more is daily happiness. Stress is replaced by laughter and comfort as they go out of their way to help take the burden off your shoulder and let you know you’re safe and treasured. Over time, they’ll get even better at loving you and you’ll realise that your relationship is the best investment you’ve ever made.

A person who loves you back even more is a person who loves you for who you are.

This person exists and you deserve them.

Finding someone who loves you back even more requires taking a good look in your mirror.

Can you give yourself the same kind of love? Do you navigate towards people who are loving to you?

Do you draw firm boundaries with people who make you feel not good enough? Do you actively avoid hurting situations? Do you do what’s best for you?

Do you give people a chance to treat you well?

Do you give yourself a chance to trust again?

Letting love in is a skill you can learn.

Don’t label yourself as someone who never knows love; adopt a new identity as someone who already has it all and will have even more.

Show yourself you really mean it.

Next time, when someone does something nice for you, don’t say “you don’t have to” or “It’s okay, I can get it.” Just let them and then thank them. Do something nice back for them later. Don’t be afraid to ask for favors either; trust that people love doing nice things for you because 1) you deserve it and 2) they know you’ll appreciate it and you have their back too.

That’s how you build a reciprocal relationship.

But letting love in doesn’t mean you have to be with anyone who claims to love you.

Loving you is simply non-negotiable.

You can still have your standards and pick the one you want. Trust your judgment.

You deserve someone who loves you back even more.

Once you find this person, do the same for them. The abundance of love will keep flowing.