Joel Sossa

10 Common/Best Flirting Techniques


Flirting has been most successful for me when it is done playfully, rather than sexy-smoldering-brooding which can come off as creepy, or super-cool which usually comes across as snobby, arrogant, or cheesy. You are intentionally letting someone know that you have a sexual interest in them, but are trying to not come across as desperate or creepy. It should also be a little give-and-take, so you can think of it as a dance, more than a game, which lots of people try to paint it as. (I could elaborate on why I dislike calling it a ‘game’ but it gets away from the point.) Ever watch two professional ballroom dancers? They are a team moving in sync, sometimes flowing together nicely, or sometimes they oppose each other with a little flair, almost teasing the other to follow if they dare. That’s more the point with flirting, two people on the same team with no winners or losers, just potential dance partners. Flirting is a conversation that initiates with body language.” — talks_in_her_sleep


Your body language is just as important as theirs. Sit or stand leaning too far towards them and you’re either a creep or uninterested. You’ve mostly got to feel comfortable in your skin, and not worry so much about whether you’re coming off as ok and whether they like you, etc. Just relax into it. I’m serious, it doesn’t even matter if the conversation goes well if you seem to be… for lack of a better word, ‘chill’ during the interaction. They’ll read your body language as though everything is fine, and when they think back on the conversation, their mind will tell them it went well. Not if you did something ridiculously awful, but if it was a regular unassuming interaction.” — MakesItaMovieReview


“Catch their eye, flick your gaze away and immediately re-establish eye contact. This allows for the other person to see that you are deliberately making eye contact, that it wasn’t a mistake. (Also, this way if they are not interested, or are attached, or have diarrhea, or whatever, they have an escape and can just look away. Crisis averted.) You will get better with the timing of this flick-away-and-come-back glance with practice. Once they see that you are definitely making eye contact with them, give a small genuine smile– some hottie is making eye contact with you, so genuine shouldn’t be difficult to manage, just keep it easy, not cheesy. (Once you are more comfortable with how you speak with your eyes you don’t have to do the flick, and can get away with adding the smile or wink immediately, but only once you know the eyes/face you are giving the other person isn’t creepy.) Did they smile back? If no, shift your gaze away and try again later, or move on. If yes, First Contact! Yay! “ — talks_in_her_sleep


“Ask questions. Converse. Nothing gives good flirting material like asking questions. Not creepy questions (‘what’s your home address, zip code too, if you don’t mind?’), but questions that evolve from the conversation. The emphasis is on conversation. Flirting is smoothest when it occurs naturally when interacting, and is received better when done in that fashion. Again, this is my experience only.” — TheGreatGungor


“Keep them talking about themselves. And smile and laugh a lot. I find that doing that generally keeps a positive vibe in social situations.” — Kelgarin


“Honestly I flirt like I’m in grade school. (I’m 27). Lots of joking around, teasing, playful hitting, etc. Girls are usually receptive but whether or not it goes to the next level depends on if I perceive them as actually being attracted to me or just having fun.” — [deleted]


“I hate to say it, but I (playfully) make fun of the other person. If I’m not ribbing you about something chances are I’m not interested.” — eddie2911


“I stare at them from across the room awkwardly. Then when someone else goes to talk to them I think ‘WTF Bro? Didn’t you see me working that?'” — I_Said


“I have a crude sense of humor, therefore, I don’t want a girl who can’t take a joke. So I flirt by teasing (only to girls I know well enough). If she teases back, she’s a good one, but if she gets offended/angry, I apologize and leave her alone. Kinda my way of flirting while at the same time picking out the good ones.” — The_sad_zebra


“I think the number one way is to view the person you are flirting with as a person and not as a goal or prey to be hunted. Genuine interest and attraction trump conquest and attention seeking.” — [deleted]