10 Gentle Ways To Break Up With Him

“The most gentle way is also the most brutal way. Just tell them you want to break up. Saves a lot of hassle and stress about details.” — Scarlett-Spider

“Do not give explanations over practical things they could address, otherwise their response will be to have that feeling that if they just fixed that one thing they everything can be good again.” — TheEvilAdventurer

“There is no gentle way. The best way is doing it as soon as possible. If you do not live with them, meet them in a public place and tell them there. Keep it simple. If they ask why, keep it simple. Say that you have just grown apart, or have different goals, or other non-personal things are fine. If they are the right kind of person, you might want to be more specific. It is going to hurt. They are probably going to be angry. But if it is time to break up, it is. Staying won’t help anyone.” — kalysti

“I’d like to add that if you really don’t love somebody, end it ASAP. Don’t keep it going for a few more years because you don’t know how to properly end it. In those years, they’re probably going to grow to love you more and it will destroy them emotionally when you tell them you haven’t loved them in years. Also, if it’s a relationship you’ve had for years, break up with them in person. Don’t break things via a phone call. If they’re abusive, yeah sure, dump them over the phone. But if they’re not, you’re essentially throwing them in the trash.” — TheBoomExpress

“Relationships end. Sometimes it is mutual, sometimes it is one person who isn’t into it anymore. I wish each of my exes would have been honest with me. Even if the trust hurts, a lie causes more damage. But over explaining can lead a person to think there is something they could do or change to turn things around. One of my ‘best’ breakups came in the form a beautiful letter. He said many nice things about me but also was clear that he just didn’t have those feelings anymore. I still have the letter and so much of what he said is very clear now many years later. So be open and honest and also resolved. Say it or write (no texting breakup please) and then let go. I wish you both the best.” — LoisZ63

“Most gentle: do not cheat/betray them. Otherwise, just keep the breakup clean, no room for misinterpretation.” — No_P95

“I did a lot of research on how to gracefully break up with someone. I poured over articles, wrote down my thoughts, and spent a lot of alone time reflecting on my behaviors as well. I think my ex and I broke up very gracefully. I sat him down and basically kept it short, and never accused him of his ‘bad’ traits/behaviors. I explained to him at the end of the day, we’re growing separately and we are no longer compatible. I never wanted to blindside him so I sat him down twice in a 12 month period to explain how I was feeling and where our relationship was headed. Very honest and open communication, he knew what I needed to maintain the relationship and I know what he needed and in the end neither of us was willing to put in the work. The other important thing was I set myself up with a new living situation and job prior to ending our relationship with him. When I said I was done, I meant it. I don’t enjoy or appreciate the emotional torture of stringing someone along. If you say breakup/divorce, mean it. I had my ducks in a row, he knew I meant it when I said it, and we spent the next two weeks packing up our apartment together, reminiscing on our good and bad times, and hugged each other. It wasn’t a lack of love, it was just pure sexual and emotional incapability.” — jessjugs

“Go for a long walk in a private place. Preferably somewhere that has benches if you or your soon-to-be ex needs to sit down. A park you don’t love but is still nice, maybe. It’s okay to show your pain, because breakups are painful. Say something along the lines of: It took me a long time to get to this point, but I realize now that you aren’t the person I’ve been looking for. I still love you and will always care for you, but I need to find the person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. Don’t list out specifics. Offer to stay in contact, but make it clear that you are no longer dating.” — GallantChaos

“Just be honest. Tell them you care and don’t want to hurt them but the relationship is just not the right thing for you. Some things in life suck no matter what. All you can do is be honest and kind.” — KitchenSwillForPigs

“It’s never gentle. Make it fast and clear. And then keep your boundaries even if you feel bad for them afterwards.” — ontopofyourmom