10 Red Flags They Aren’t Your Forever Person
If your partner has any of the following red flags, it might be time to take a step back and reconsider your relationship. Here are 10 red flags they aren’t your forever person.
1. They are disrespectful.
Disrespect has no place in a forever relationship (or any relationship, but I digress). Disrespect can be anything from crossing boundaries to fighting in unfair ways to name calling to putting you down. If someone behaves in any of those ways, they definitely aren’t right for you.
It’s also important to mention that, in addition to you, your forever person will treat others with consideration and respect as well. If your partner is good to you but rude or unkind to other people, this is a glaring red flag and also a warning sign. Because eventually, that treatment will be extended towards you guaranteed.
2. You have to literally beg for the bare minimum.
Let’s be real: the bare minimum doesn’t take much effort to provide. So, if you always need to beg your partner to give you the basics, the treatment and effort you should already be receiving by default, this is a a sure sign that they aren’t your forever person. After all, your forever person would never make you plead for what you already deserve. They would meet the bare minimum and then go beyond it to make you feel loved.
3. They are deeply insecure (and aren’t working on it at all).
Feeling insecure from time to time is only human. However, if your partner is allowing their insecurities rule their life without making any effort to get those fears under control, especially when those fears begin to bleed into your relationship, this is a sign they may not be in a place to be in a healthy, lasting partnership.
Now, this isn’t to say someone has to love themselves perfectly before they can be loved. It does mean they do need to at least be making an effort to love themselves, though. They need to at least be taking the steps to work on their relationship with themselves.
4. They don’t take accountability for pretty much anything.
Nothing is ever their fault. It’s always someone else’s problem when they fall short or behave in ways they shouldn’t. This lack of ownership becomes particularly problematic when it comes to your relationship because if you ever try and set a boundary or tell them when they upset you, they will always turn it around and blame you.
5. Your friends and family don’t like them.
Not only do your loved ones not like your partner or express concerns about your relationship, they also seemingly go out of their way to avoid spending time with them at all.
6. They’re extremely jealous or possessive.
Jealous or possessive behaviors manifest in a number of ways. For example, they may get mad when you spend time with your family and friends or demand your passwords to your socials and passcode to your phone. This is not only someone who doesn’t trust you, it’s someone who wants to control you. That isn’t someone you want to be with forever (or at all).
7. They are abusive in any way at all.
Abuse of any kind is absolutely unacceptable and should never be tolerated. Someone who gaslights you, constantly disrespects you, who belittles you, and causes emotional or physical pain is not someone who is safe and not someone you should be with even for now.
8. They keep score of the things they’ve “done” for you.
And they always bring up those things they’ve “done” for you during a fight or when you’re calling them out for something. Not only is this the sign of a fragile ego but it’s also a means of trying to control you or make you feel guilty. Not great and definitely not forever material.
9. You never know which version of them you’re going to get.
They’re incredibly inconsistent in their communication style and how they treat you and show up in the relationship overall. You honestly feel like you’re always bracing yourself before you see them because you’re not sure which version of them you’re going to get.
10. You feel lonely in the relationship.
Finally, the ultimate red flag someone isn’t your forever person is that you feel lonelier with them than when you’re actually alone. This proves they aren’t bringing anything but pain to your life and you would be better off trying to find someone who would make you feel cared for, loved, and appreciated.
The truth is that it’s always better to be single than keep fighting to make something work with the wrong person. Be brave enough to let them go so you can find the love you truly deserve.