10 People Share The Therapy Lesson That Shaped Their View On Life

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10 Simple Lessons That’ll Change Your View On Life

“Some people are ‘gallon people’ and some people are ‘pint people.’ You’re a gallon person. You want to give a gallon, and you expect to get a gallon in return. He’s a pint person. He only wants a pint, and when you give him a gallon, he doesn’t want it; it overflows and is wasted. Then when you expect a gallon to fill you back up, he only has a pint to give. He’s never going to be able to give you what you need; you need to find it somewhere else — or better yet, within yourself.” — Faux-pa5

“Your emotions exist to motivate your behavior. And they do a pretty good job of it, since they’ve helped all kinds of animals survive up to today. But they come from the most ancient part of the brain and they’re not very sophisticated. They can be like the smoke alarm that goes off when you’re cooking in the kitchen. You’d rather have the smoke alarm give you a few false alarms than to fail to alert you to a real fire. So with an emotion, you can say, ‘Thanks, jealousy/shame/anxiety. I know this situation seems scary and you’re just trying to protect me. But what you don’t know is…’ and then fill in those facts that your conscious mind is aware of, but that you’re emotions aren’t taking into account.” — MuseHill

“Relapse isn’t just common, it’s the overwhelming majority. Falling is okay, but get back up.” — apathyontheeast

What evidence do you have that supports that belief? It’s a small, but powerful thought that has changed my very existence and helped reduce my anxiety dramatically. So many people are afraid of shit that won’t ever happen, or worrying about stuff that they think happened but didn’t. You have no idea why your friend is not replying to your text – but you have no evidence it’s anything to do with you. It’s more likely they’re eating or reading or their battery died or whatever. You don’t know why that person didn’t want to go on another date with you, maybe it’s because you suck, but you don’t know, there’s no evidence. Could just as easily be that you are too good a person and they want a hookup not a partner. It’s the basis on cognitive behavioral therapy, using evidence to challenge damaging thoughts. I used to be socially anxious, now its easy – mostly because I realize no one gives a fuck now.” — thehollowman84

“Small changes are usually the best way to get a big result. For example, if you want to go to the gym more, you just need to take small initial steps (e.g., put on your gym shoes) and it’ll help start the momentum toward actually going.” — apathyontheeast

“My therapist said, ‘You don’t have to forgive them. Some things are unforgivable.’ People told me I had to forgive them all my life. It was like someone gave me permission to be mad at these fucks.” — Marcuscassius

Your feelings are real, not reality. Really helped me to see that just because I feel a certain way it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s true and also that it’s ok to feel like that even if it’s not true.” — Miss_Minus

You know, you’re not responsible for other people’s feelings. This was a huge revelation to me, as I had literally been taught my entire life that if someone was unhappy or had a problem it was my job to fix it. It was the beginning of my learning that much of what I’d learned about the world from my family was way off base.” — EKeebler

“You use the word ‘should’ a lot. You should do this, you should do that, you should be better – I want you to take that word out of your vocabulary. From now on, there’s no such thing as ‘should’. Think instead that there are things you can do, and things you can’t do. Sometimes you’ll hit a wall and find you can’t do something – that’s okay. Having limits is not a bad thing. Everyone has things they can’t do. Think about how you’d treat a friend who told you what you just told me. Wouldn’t you be kind to them? Don’t you deserve the same kindness from yourself? That helped me not be so hard on myself. Ignoring that I had limits didn’t mean they magically went away, and acknowledging them helped me sort my mind out and be easier with myself over things I didn’t succeed at. I’m much happier now I’m not holding myself to impossible expectations.” [deleted]

You are not special. Sounds really mean, but it was actually really freeing. I’m not responsible/required to be better than other people. Plus, it meant that I’m not so special that I suck more than other people either. There’s a degree of narcissism associated with thinking you are really worse than everyone else out there.” — redPanda8253

“You get to make choices too. I struggle with accepting other people’s behaviors and actions as inevitable and tend to focus on how to manage my reaction and feelings about them. My therapist helped me realize that I could make choices too – I could let go of a toxic friendship, I could set boundaries on visits with my parents, o could choose not to attend a high-stress event even though it was ‘expected.’ Basically, I didn’t have to accept the role someone else had defined for me. A much healthier outlook than my previous approach of just figuring out how to feel less shitty as the world steamrolled over me.” — padichotomy