10 Subtle Signs He’s A Manipulator (And You Can Never Trust Him)

“Think about how many times they’ve just flat out admitted to being wrong. Is it never? Then that person is probably manipulative. If there’s always a reason why they did something or everything always seems to ‘happen to them,’ then it’s likely that they are the least common denominator, the one at the root of all these issues. “ — hermionesque

“Tells you who you can and can’t hang around, is vocal about minor habits, berates you for stupid things like spending small amounts of money on yourself, shows up randomly when you’re allowed to go out with a friend to make sure you aren’t doing anything they don’t approve of, dictates what you can and can’t do in your free time even if they aren’t around, guilts you for getting sick or changing plans, etc.” — Vnightpersona

“If they are at odds or angry with lots of people from their past. If there are a string of destroyed relationships behind them, you’re probably not seeing a victim, but a manipulator who believes they are a victim. Pro-tip; just because they honestly believe their anger is justified and they don’t actively set out to maniplulate you does not mean they aren’t manipulative and toxic.” — Zahrmunthir

“They try to isolate you from your friends and family. They will slowly convince you that you don’t need them, they will tell you they hate them, they will call them names or badmouth them. Soon enough you’ll realize that you stopped seeing people.” — StellarNyx

“Regularly victimizing themselves, not matter what the circumstances are is a huge red flag for me. This includes making up physical injuries and dramatizing injuries/illness. Also, never accepting blame and deflecting issues onto other people is a big one.” — J0wilson

“It usually starts with them always being right and everyone else is wrong. Nothing is ever their fault. They try to put themselves forward as an authority figure so they’re trusted. Start with putting things in your head that are so small and insignificant so it has to be believed, then work their way up after building your trust.” — ramengirl79

“They will expect you to be there for them in their time of need, or when they are going through something and need someone to vent to. When the tables turn and you need them, they will be totally unreachable and usually come back (if they come back at all) with a half assed excuse about why they were suddenly missing in action. They make you feel stupid for trusting them.” — [deleted]

“When you’re with them, you find yourself doing a lot of things you normally wouldn’t do. Either because it’s easier than what that person is like when you don’t do what they want, or because of reasons that don’t sound like you. If the manipulator is toxic, you look back and realize the things you’ve done because of them made you unhappy, and maybe even made the people around you unhappy. You don’t feel like yourself, and lose touch with your headspace. Your mind doesn’t feel entirely ‘yours’ anymore, and it’s no longer your safe place.” — _Green_Kyanite_

“They are being incredibly mean to you, only to become suddenly super sweet when you try to put your foot down. They want you to believe that they’re « not that bad », and will constantly remind you of all the nice things they did for you.” — StellarNyx

“They contradict themselves constantly. If they compliment someone, they quickly counter it with something negative (often masked with ‘concern’). ‘Kim is the best employee we’ve ever had! She absolutely deserves her promotion. [beat] It’s just a shame she has no idea what she’s doing. Wouldn’t be surprising if she got fired soon. I think the poor dear has a drinking problem.'” — boxofsquirrels