10 Things You Learn From Being Raised By A Single Mother

1. There’s nothing more powerful than an independent woman. It isn’t until she’s on her own that a single mother learns she can do all of this herself. You learn from watching your single mother than you can fix your own toilet, shovel your own driveway, mow your own lawn. When the outside influences are stripped away, a woman can do anything she sets her mind to.

2. There are some creative ways to have fun when you have little or no money. With only one income and one or more children to care for and feed, money’s often tight when you’re raised by a single mom. You grow up learning that you can still have fun without the excess cash. From scavenger walks in the woods to building forts for movie nights at home, you don’t need money to be happy and fulfilled.

3. You don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy. There’s immense value in watching a woman have a happy life while single. You learn that it isn’t taboo or shameful to be without a relationship. This way, you realize that it’s better to wait for the right person that to go from one relationship to another, filling the gap with people who might not be good enough.

4. When you go through rough times, you’ll survive. When you don’t have two incomes or two adults to support a household, you’re inevitably left with rough times. Welfare, food stamps, charity. Rather than the picture-perfect childhoods you see on TV, you learn early in your life that things don’t always go your way. But you survive, and you eventually thrive, and you carry that skill into adulthood.

5. Struggle just makes you stronger. There’s something you have that other people don’t. By watching your mom going through it, carrying you through tough times and surviving, you learn things that someone who was born in a traditional nuclear family doesn’t. You know how to budget better, you know how to stretch a grocery budget and making dinner out of barely anything. And you appreciate it more once you do have money.

6. It’s okay to break down every once in a while. Things won’t always go your way. And raising kids on your own is hard. No matter how strong your single mom is, there’s going to come a point–probably more than once–where she breaks down. Maybe you were throwing a tantrum in public or the lights were shut off, and she broke down. Watching her break down, but then pick herself back up again and move on is a important thing to watch and digest, even in youth.

7. When someone you care about needs help, you step up. Children of single mothers learn early on that their mom needs help. You clean when she’s clearly had too hard of a day at work. You understand when she can’t take you to the park because she has to pick up a second shift. Rather than being spoiled, you understand that everyone needs help, even your parent.

8. Someone can always make time for you if they really want to. When you watch your mom spend 60+ hours working, coming home to be the only one to cook or clean, and then still have time to spend with you, you realize just how important time is. If she could do all that and still show you she loved you, what’s stopping your future partners? It makes the sentence “I’m just so busy,” lose a bit of its weight. If they wanted to spend time with you, they would.

9. Sometimes you’re better off with one parent rather than two. The idea that you need two parents to be complete is a lie. If the alternative, in your situation, is to keep a second parent around who has issues that could harm the rest of the family, it’s better if they aren’t in the picture. Having a strong single mother shows you that you can grow up well-adjusted without that second parent.

10. Once you become an adult, you can handle anything. You watch your mom do it all and come out on top–even after encountering some stumbling blocks–and you realize you can do it, too. You can do anything. It’s why so many children of single moms said their mom was their personal hero in school. She’s a warrior, and you will be too from watching her example.