11 Not-So-Obvious Topics Couples Should Discuss Before Getting Serious
“How important each person’s ambitions and dreams are to the other. Example: Husband gets a dream job two states away. Will you be willing to pack up and move?” — RustyShackleford___
“One not so obvious thing that has, hands down, caused the most fights between my husband and I is food. What is an acceptable budget for food, what food is acceptable to buy, what is ‘healthy’, different styles of cooking, different likes and dislikes (which goes beyond ‘I don’t like tomatoes’ trust me) how much food is ‘worth’ at a restaurant, it goes oooon and oooon… We literally had to draft a food constitution it caused so much trouble. And it’s something that comes up literally every single day for the rest of your life. Get it figured out!” — mrsmagneon
“HOLIDAY EXPECTATIONS. Some people like to hang out with family A LOT over the holidays. Some just want to tuck and roll.” — [deleted]
“Money. This is beyond paying the bills but more of a spender/saver idea. What kinda of lifestyle do you want to live? Save everything you can until retirement or for college funds or live life in a different manner? Also what kind of bank account do you both have? Have one joint account, two personal accounts only or a mix of each? Money is one of the biggest things that can rip people apart.” — fuzzo999
“One that rarely comes up is personal space, personal time, personal hobbies. The aspect of a long term (possibly life long) relationship where you are on the same page of what you need as an individual, in the context of something that isn’t necessarily working toward a particular goal or even directly beneficial to you as a couple.” — [deleted]
“How to deal with in-laws. I can’t stress this enough.” — szspeak
“Children. Do you want any? How many? When should you have them?” — fuzzo999
“It might be a downer, but if you are getting married, you should talk about major injuries and accidents, or more precisely, the consequences. What happens if you get into an accident? Would you want to be an organ donor? What about comas, would you want to be kept alive? I recently realized that when I am married and my husband gets into an accident, I am the person who has to know all this. Not his parents, me. I know I wouldn’t be able to make a decision on my own, so I would rather respect his wishes.” — invitroveritas
“How big a purchase should be discussed with the other partner before spending money.” — GrandadsLadyFriend
“How do you manage stress? This is a very big deal. I think young relationships already have to cope with people in school or work stress but that ain’t nothing. Some day, you’ll have gone weeks without sex, someone forgot to pay the mortgage, baby is sick…again, older child is being bullied at school, your boss is a dick and now there are rumors of cutbacks and your father-in-law just had a heart attack. You need a vacation but there is no time, money, or anyone to take the kids for the week/weekend. Shit hits the fan and how you both manage will make or break your relationship. I think this is the leading cause of mid life crisis – juggling all these difficulties and remembering how much older you’re getting. The worst fights I’ve had with my husband had nothing to do with what was going on in our lives but rather how we were not managing our stress well – and lashing out at each other.” — hell_kat
“Who is going to pay the bills? This is NOT ‘who makes the money’ rather who is going to make sure the checks are written each month.”– fuzzo999