11 Red Flags You’re Dealing With A Narcissist
“They keep tallies and scores. When they do something nice, it’s usually to score points in their favor. They’ll then hold that favor over your head in order to manipulate you into doing whatever they want.” – bobbery5
“They love to take all the credit for stuff. If you do 99% of something, but at the last minute they show up and do like 1%, they immediately will say to everyone else how they did it and how they saved you from doing it. And if you decline their help, they will throw a tantrum.” — TheSovereign2181
“They are usually very controlling. And if someone resists that control they will often retaliate by spreading lies about that person, in effect regaining control by changing how that person is perceived by others. Related to the last example: gaslighting. A form of narrative control where you lie to the person about themselves. Very insidious and very hard to defend against if you’re a normal person capable of self doubt.” – [deleted]
“The only apologies they ever give, if any, are those bullshit, ‘I’m sorry you’re upset’ ones.” — coffeeblossom
“You could literally show them all the info in the world refuting their claims and they will still say they are right without any further answer or explanation.” — ihavequestions10
“Wait for an occasion where someone else is the natural center of attention. It could be somebody’s birthday, somebody’s hospitalization–good or bad. A narcissist will compete for attention, usually by causing distractions and drama. Occasionally a narcissist competes for attention by becoming super-helpful. The way to tell the difference between that and normal helpfulness is that the narcissist takes credit for help they didn’t do, or dumps on somebody else who’s also being helpful, or tries to take over someone else’s gig. Most crucially, the narcissist is abnormally hungry for gratitude.” — doublestitch
“They can dish out criticism but they can’t take it. Likewise, they will usually make jokes at another’s expense but cannot handle jokes about them. They put others down to build themselves up. It only goes one way.” – [deleted]
“They will often be in the middle of a drama in which they are the poor innocent victim. Your problems however are insignificant in comparison. Silly you.” – [deleted]
“Superficial relationships. Odds are they won’t ask much about you.” — Butterfun02
“One thing I noticed a pattern of is they will praise you and put you on a pedestal in the beginning. I think this is a way of making their opinion important to you. So when the criticize you it is so much more hurtful/damaging.” — Spinningwheelturns
“Do you find yourself walking on eggshells? Are you hesitant to say what’s on your mind? Even if it’s harmless bc you are worried about the unpredictable response? Get out now. Fight the urge to say your final words. Just dip. Find your own closure. They will never give you theirs. If you let them say their final words you will be more abused than ever. Good luck.” — [deleted]