11 Signs Your Partner Is Secretly Manipulating You

“Never admitting they’re wrong, especially in the form of non-apologies. ‘I’m sorry you were offended,’ or ‘I’m sorry you feel that way,’ or ‘I’m sorry you you didn’t understand,’ are classics, shifting blame over to the other person. Or they follow the narcissist’s prayer: That didn’t happen. And if it did, it’s not that bad. And if it was, it’s not a big deal. And if it was, it’s not my fault. And if it was, I didn’t mean it. And if I did, you deserved it.” — FlashpointJ24

“When you have written proof, texts and emails, that contradict what they’re trying to sell you as ‘the truth.’ If they constantly remind you of your bad memory, that’s also a key sign as well.” — crapnapkins

“If you think about how even the relationship is. If you feel like you’re bending over backwards for someone, and that they don’t reciprocate. Specific examples include always giving someone rides, buying them food, letting them borrow clothes and never getting them back, buying drinks, always hanging out when they want to, etc.” — wargerliam

“Every time you bring up something that hurt or insulted you, they immediately conjure up a retort about something you did, as if it’s some kind of tit-for-tat. Immediate and reflexive defensiveness is a pretty strong marker of a manipulator.” — [deleted]

“They try to make you feel intellectually or emotionally inferior. And then when you say no or disagree they try to use that inferiority against you.” — [deleted]

“Jealousy over stupid things like hanging out with your best friend or doing something in your spare time that they don’t approve of. Constant communication expecting you to answer within a short time frame and getting mad if you don’t. Constant reassurance that you’re not doing something to wrong them: ‘Are you cheating on me? Who’s texting you so much? Your other girlfriend?”” — Wolfey1618

“When your boundaries keep shifting around them. ‘Hey, don’t call my grandma a bitch’ becomes, ‘Hey, please try not to call my grandma a bitch right in front of her face, unless you’re really mad at her or you’ve had a tough day at work or it’s Tuesday, OK?’ It happens because they’re undermining your confidence in your own judgment about what’s acceptable and unacceptable to you – which makes no sense, if you think about it, because who else has the right to determine that but you?” — [deleted]

“Guilt tripping. If you find yourself constantly hanging out with someone or doing favors for them because you always feel like you owe them, they may be manipulating you. Often it’s heavy handed enough that you can see it for what it is, but the people who know what they’re doing will be so subtle in their guilt trips that you don’t realize it’s happening. They make you feel indebted so that you’ll do good by them and forgive them when they do wrong by you.” — let_them_burn

“You walk on eggshells around them to avoid conflict with them or to keep them in a good mood.” — apple_kicks

“A very common manipulation tactic is the false reassurance. This is when a person uses either an apology or an expression of sympathy as a vehicle to make themselves seem wiser, more desirable, or more virtuous than they actually are. It’s practiced with varying degrees of subtlety, but the overall goal is always to make you feel either grateful to or dependent on the person doing the manipulation, while at the same time making you think that they were trying to comfort you. There may also be other elements thrown in, like an attempt to deflect accusations or shift perceived blame from their shoulders.” — RamsesThePigeon

“If they are really kind until you do something against their will.” — [deleted]